You’ve heard the stories…Morning Sickness. Non stop pain. Cramping. Screaming. Women writhing in pain. Their body being torn open. Thirfy five hours of labor followed by six hours of pushing, all to end up having a c-section or pushing a 10lb baby out your ‘hoohoo’. You’ve decided that from the moment you find out you are pregnant, you are going to have every intervention known to man! You’ll have the ultrasound and the blood tests. You’ll have a 2nd ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby. You arrive at the hospital already planning to have the epidural, but to look good to your peers you tell everyone you are going to ‘try’ to go natural. Truth is, you’ve already talked to the midwife and doctor, and the epidural and Demerol are already on standby. We’ve heard and used the line “Nature needs no help, just no interference” but when it comes to pregnancy and birth, we throw this concept out the window.
In this scenario, there are loud noises all around you. Beeping, buzzing and ringing surround you. People are in and out of your room, removing the sheet that is covering your elevated legs so they can do a check to make sure you are ‘progressing’. The lights are bright and the bed is uncomfortable. You are allowed to move around the hallways, but only for a limited amount of time, and only until they decide it’s time for the epidural. In a few more minutes, they will need to check your progress again. You’ve now made it-the 10cm required to begin pushing! You feel a sense of accomplishment at having made it to this point (epidural or not) and now are told that it’s time to start pushing. “Deep breath! Bear down! 1-2-3-4…10. And another big breath. AGAIN!” It doesn’t matter that you’ve body isn’t telling you to push. You are at 10cm and now you MUST push! The doctor who you worked so closely with during your pregnancy and who you prayed would be on call the night you went into labor, races in and spends the last 15 minutes of your pushing with you, just in time to catch the baby. The baby is laid on your stomach for a little over a minute, just long enough to cut the cord that is attaching the baby to your body. The placenta hasn’t birthed yet, but that’s ok. This baby has got to be cut from your body now that it’s outside of you! There is no more need for it to remain attached. Within a matter of minutes the baby is taken to the other side of the room where it is cleaned up, its nose suctioned. She is weighed and measured. You hear the baby crying and they tell you this is a good thing and that the baby has ‘a great set of lungs’. Truth is, this small baby is terrified and screaming for you, her mother.
But there’s a better way! This is not the way that birth should be, especially for those of us who believe that the body is fully capable of knowing what to do. Imagine a birth in which you, the mom, are in complete control. The room is dim, the smell of candles or incense burning from the corner. Your significant other is next to you and in these moments, it’s only the two of you. Your midwife might be in the room, but you are oblivious to her because you are totally connected to your body. You are immersed in warm water, your body floating up and down with each contraction. There is no tension in your body. You are relaxed, allowing your body to work with each contraction. The contractions grow closer together, more intense, each one coming right after the next, but you aren’t fighting them but instead, working with them. You are free to make any sort of noises you need to because you are in your own home, allowed to express yourself in your own way because it’s a familiar place to you. It’s a place you feel at peace. It’s a place you’ve created for the birth of your child. It’s the place you have created for this very moment! After a few hours of labor, you start to feel a pressure that is indescribable. You tell your midwife that it’s time and she comes to your side. In the next few minutes, the baby will slowly pass out between your open legs and into the water and your waiting hands. You may even find yourself having a powerful orgasm during this time in which your body is allowed to operate in wholeness and perfection. You slowly pull the baby up out of the water and to your chest. Immediately the baby looks up at you! There is an instant connection between the two of you as you gently wipe the vernix off of her head and await the placenta to deliver. The baby is still attached and is reaping the benefits of the most amazing blood that it will ever receive. The blood in the cord is essential to the baby and as it pulses, it contracts every last drop into this new baby. When you are ready, you hand the small baby to the midwife for her weight and measurement. Baby appears so relaxed and at peace. No screaming, no flailing. Just perfect peace in this moment. This is the way birth can be!
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