Wednesday, March 7, 2007

When Did Life Get So Hard?

When did life get so hard?


When did life switch from being fun and enjoyable to being hard? Where is that line in the sand where once you stepped over, you not had to begin carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? I'm a huge news junkie and can't miss the news. I have to watch it 2x a day most days, just to 'keep up to date'. Ya never know what happened between noon news and 5pm news that could greatly affect your life, safety or happiness. Yep, I need to keep up to date. As I was watching the news last night, it was story after story of despair. A mother/grandmother shot and killed. Tara Grant murdered and mutilated by her husband, leaving behind 2 small children. Unemployment rates skyrocket in our state. A jetliner crashes today and kills 21. The distress around us never seems to stop. Bills pile up. People get more rude. Life just gets harder.

Where did our innocence go? When I look at my kids as they sit on the floor going through an old box of pictures, laughing at how they looked as babies or talking about the toys they used to have, I'm reminded of the joys of being a child. Life was easy. Nothing really phased us. Our friends and neighbors moved away and life went on. By the end of summer, we had new friends. Our biggest financial concern was how much money the tooth fairy would bring us for our newly lost tooth. Our biggest daily concern was that we had to clean our room or figure out our math homework. Life was so easy. When did that change? High school didn't change it because life didn't get more hard. More complicated, yes, but not more 'hard'. College didn't change it really, as it was a blow off in a lot of ways. I don't know when I woke up one day and life became different. I don't know when challenges started controlling my life, my joy, my peace. I don't know when it was that I crossed that line in the sand that said "You've grown up and your in a different place now". There are so many days that I still feel too young to have been married for 11 years and have 5 kids. I have days that I feel inside me that I can't POSSIBLY be older than 21. Maybe that's part of me that is longing for the simpler, more peaceful life. Maybe it's me hoping that someday things in this world will get easier. But will they? I want to find that line in the sand and step back over it into the day before things became 'real'. I want to go back and start smelling the roses again. I want to play in the rain. I want to spend time on the phone with friends, talking about the loves of our life and how silly they are. Last week I wrote about what I'd tell myself if I could meet "ME" as a teenager. Now I want to tell "ME" what my teenager self would tell me.

1. Make time to be your with friends.

2. Don't take life too seriously. Find time to do the little things.

3. Sleep is good. Get LOTS of it

4. Don't worry so much abou ta perfect house (bedroom). Messes are ok.

Wordless Wednesday-Trip to Michigan's Upper Peninsula

Vagina, Vagina, Vagina

There! I said it! I absolutely HATE that word and don't know why. I think it has to do with my conservative, Baptist upbringing in a home where anything remotely sexual was not discussed. I don't have a problem with teaching my boys that they have a penis, but for some reason, teaching my girls that they had a vagina was so much tougher. For the first several years, we just never talked about it. I never called it ANY name and they never asked. One day about 6 months to a year ago, I hear the girls in the bathtub and I hear them talking about washing their 'flower'. I asked them what they were talking about and they pointed to their vagina and vulva. I asked them where they heard this was a 'flower' and they said it was from my mother in law while they were at her house that weekend before. She had been giving them their baths and told them to wash their arms, their tummies, their bottoms, their 'flower'. I was flabbergasted!! This is NOT a flower. Flowers grow outside in the dirt. The smell and look pretty for a bit, then they DIE. That is NOT what my girls have. They have VAGINAS! I talked to them about what a flower was and what their vagina was.

I never had this same problem teaching my sons that they had a penis however. I remember not long after Seth was born, we were in church and our pastor was preaching about marraige and family or something and I remember as clear as day him saying something about how families tend to make these things an embarrassement and encouraged all of us as parents to not say "ookie bookie wookie" instead of penis. Yes, he said 'ookie bookie wookie'. We still laugh about this usage of 'words'. It was at that day that it all made sense I decided to start calling body parts what they were. My friend went so far that when her boys would come into the bathroom when they were little and ask what she was doing, she'd say she was peeing. They said "Where's your penis?" and she responded with "Girls don't have a penis. We have a vulva."

I had been married for several years and my DH was having to teach me about my own body and how things worked because I had no clue. I had no clue about 'clitoris' or any of that and I don't want my girls not knowing. I want them to know it's safe to talk to me about these things and not something to be embarrassed of. I rememeber when I was about 16 or 17, my boyfriend and I would be making out and I'd feel all funny 'down there'. I remember sitting up on the bathroom counter looking at my swollen lips and vagina, wondering what was going on. It was intriguing to me, but there was no one I could ask about the hows or whys. I was embarrassed about it. Why? Because my parents had MADE me embarrassed about such things, imo. They taught me I had eyes, nose, mouth, arms, hands, feet, legs and 'bottom'. To me, my vagina was taboo and something to be embarrassed about. Something to keep completely secretive and never discuss. Imagine the first time I went to the OB for a PAP. I hear the doctor using words like clitoris, vagina, etc and could feel my face turning a million shades of red. I obviously knew what she was talking about, but to have it be so OPENLY talked about was not something I was used to. My husband still laughs at me as I'll refer to my vagina as my 'hoohoo' but it's not something I EVER say to my daughters. I want them to grow up without the embarrassment of their female parts. I want them to be as proud of their vagina as a man is of his penis! (And we all know that THAT is pride!!!) Men's lives seem to often revolve around their penis. LOL

Do you remember when Kindergarten Cop came out? Remember the scene where the little boy raises his hand and says "Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina." You could hear the gasps of all the moms and dads in the room. This is NOT something that was openly discussed, even in 1990. (WOW! Can you believe it's been 17 years since 1990???) This little boy knew something that so many little girls didn't. They were taught they had 'flowers' or 'bottom'. (The same is true about their breasts. We tell them they have 'buttons' instead of nipples or breasts. ) And most of the nicknames for a vagina are quite absurd or offensive. Why do we allow this? Why do we allow words like 'beaver' or 'cunt' in refering to our parts? Look at this horrible list of names!!! http://www.blap.com/joke.php?query=188

We need to make sure our daughters are being taught to be be proud of who they are, how they were created and what parts they possess.

*** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of her work. Kelly Milano, can be reached at: kmilano@gmail.com Please provide a link to her work on your site.Do not publish without permission of the author.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Everyday's a Holiday-

March 6
6- National Frozen Food Day
6- Read Aloud Day
6- Toronto's Birthday 1834
6- Michalangelo's Birthday
6- National Chocolate Cheese Cake Day
6- Oreo Cookies Day first sold 1912
6- Stop Bad service day
6- Alamo Day

Oreo Cookies and chocolate cheesecake. Today must be a day made straight from heaven! I swear it's what heaven will be like. I mean, who could ask for more?
Oh wait...how about a Oreo Cheesecake!!! http://homepage.mac.com/robotch/DessertsBasics/oreo_cheese.html

In celebration of Oreo's birthday, why not go get a package of Double Stuff and challenge your kids to a race. See who can open them and lick off the icing the fastest. Make a lasting memory with them.

Do you have any Oreo memory's?

Tuesday Twelve 03/06/07

Since I'm new to the blogging thing and no one really knows me, I'll start by listing 12 things about me. :)

1. I have 5 kids

2. I can touch my nose with my tongue

3. I've been married for 11 years.

4. My favorite flower is a tiger lily or day lillies

5. My favorite color is green...yep, I have Irish Heritage

6. I swore from the time I was 6 and in first grade that I'd marry a Mexican. My first crush that year was Mark Romariz. 13 years later, at age 19, I married my husband.....who is Mexican!!!! :)

7. I'm very claustrophobic. Even sitting in traffic gets me panicking at times.

8. I have a Bachelors Degree in Psychology

9. I'm getting ready to start college to enter a Doctor of Chiropractic program(DC...Chiropractor) and also Life Coaching.

10. I hope to one day write a book. God's given me the idea and the first several lines already and I have the basic understanding of what each chapter will be about. Just waiting for the "GO" in my spirit to actually start it.

11. I love politics. I'm a raving Republican to the core and am quite conservative on most issues.

12. I love my Jesus and am working hard at finding a new found intimacy with Him.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Monday Mournings 3/5/07

This probably isn't the best day for me to start this. It was a pretty rough weekend and so I'm not going to go into all that. The one thing I took from this weekend is God is Faithful. If you read my Mother-In-Law Day post, you'll understand a bit about what my weekend entailed...a conversation with MIL and FIL. Anyways, we also had some good times this weekend. On Friday we took the younger kids out for the day while the older ones were in school. We went to McD for breakfast and then had a ton of errands.

Saturday I hit up a Mom2Mom sale and did really well. I got a ton of clothes for the girls, which are desperately needed for summer.

Sunday was our weekly home church at our house and it was SO good. If you haven't heard of Gary Keesee, you need to check him out. His understanding of Kingdom Finances is AMAZING!!!

What do I expect this week. Let's see. I have parent teacher conferences on Thursday so that will be fun. I get really good reports on these two kids so it'll be smooth sailing I'm sure. I also have a midwife appointment that day for my 6 week check up (even though I'll be 8 1/2 weeks).

Wednesday, my best friend and I are going shopping. We are going to a jazz club/martini bar next week and they are doing Latin Night so we need to find some cute outfits to wear for dance lessons. We are also shopping for stuff for a Care Package for our friend Lincoln who is in Israel til August. He's pretty lonely so we are shopping for him. He's a riot, so it should be fun to see what crazy stuff we can send.

Other than that, nothing much happening this week. The kids have Thursday and Friday off school so I may do something fun one of those days with them.

Hope everyone has a great Monday

Going to do this

I have so many ideas floating around my head. I'm going to get this blog moving and I hope that someone will come along, find it and have fun with it and that I can meet some new people, make new friends and just have fun. Here's my plan. Everyday I'm going to journal about from the site Holiday For Everyday. If you haven't seen it, check it out. There really IS a reason to celebrate everyday!! I'm going to pick one reason to celebrate and write something about it. I'm also going to start a segment that will go everyday. Here's how it will work...

Sunday Seven-I got this idea from another site and hope to link with them. This will be one thing from each day of the previous week that I am thankful for or really enjoyed.

Monday Mournings-This is just the complaints (or joys) about having to start a new week, the updates from the weekend, the expectations for the week.

Tuesday Twelve-This will be like David Letterman's Top 10 List but will involve me, things I enjoy, my family, etc.

Wordless Wednesdays-Wednesdays will be devoted to a picture, no words. I want to see your picture too (whatever it may be) so stop by and post it.

Thursday Thankfullness-Thursdays will be about a prayer of thanksgiving. We don't thank God for His blessings often enough!

Friday Funnies-Simple...jokes, jokes and more jokes

Saturday I still have to come up with something for this.

I'm hoping to have fun, so let's get started.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

My inspirations

I was asked the question "What ispires me" and would have to answer that it's my family. I'm a sahm to 5 kids (youngest is almost 8 weeks and the oldest is almost 9) and am married to a wonderful man. When I think of inspiration, this picture sums up where I'm at right now.

My children are the inspiration behind why I fight so hard everyday. My husband and I have just made the VERY tough decision to uproot our family from Michigan to Georgia and both of us go back to school to get a degree as a DC (doctor of chiropractic). Leaving our family and friends, and everything we know, behind is not an easy choice, but having a better life and being able to offer more to my children, becomes my inspiration. The look in my sons eyes in this picture as he looks both with admiration, and a bit of mischief, at my husband is an inspiration to me. I'm inspired to be more as a mom when I see my husband interacting with the kids. I'm inspired to be a better "ME". Being in college full time with 5 kid will not be easy, but when I look at this picture, and see the delight in my son's eyes, I will be reminded to "Keep Going"! and that the end result is worth the momentary pain.

Which is more offensive?


As I sit here to type this out, my almost 8 week old son is lying on my lap, nursing happily on my right breast. Every couple swallosw brings a small sigh as he 'sings' to himself. He's truly happy. His eyes are rolling back in his head as true uphoria takes over and he begins to drift to sleep. What could be more perfect that that?

In today's society however, breastfeeding is still seen as taboo. Breasts are sexual and nothing more. Many fail to overlook their life sustaining ability, the emotional stability they add to a child, the immunities that the milk provides and the brainpower that it contributes too. It's all about bigger boobs to please a man's eyes. It's about the breasts 'sell-a-bility' for media and advertisers. It's about how well a quick flash of a breast can sell their product, no matter WHAT product is being sold.

There are now raging debates over breastfeeding being offensive. What is offensive about a mother feeding her child lovingly? What is offensive about a small baby or child looking up at his mom's eyes, with a slight drop of milk dripping down his cheek as he releases his latch and smiles at mom, in his own way, thanking her for providing for him and loving him so much?

Decide for yourself. Which looks more offensive to you?
OR
OR
OR

Which would you rather YOUR daughter do??? I know which MY choice is!!

Infant Mortality Rate

This is quite interesting to me. In the US, where we have every means of hospital and medical care available to us, obstetrics and every possible means of medical equipment for every possible "emergency" and for all the "What Ifs", our infant mortality rate is unbelievable. For every 1000 births last year in the US, 6.4 were fatal to the infant. Why is that? In a society like ours, we shouldn't rate #21! In another list, the US is ranked #43!!!! https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/rankorder/2091rank.html
The World Health Organization has seen the potential danger in overusing technogoly in childbirth and has tried to urge the US to go back to a midwife type system.

Gentlebirth.org says it like this "The neonatal mortality rate for the U.S. in 1989 was slightly more than 10 per 1,000 live births. We have the most highly sophisticated and expensive system of maternity care in the world, yet in the same year twenty other countries — countries with less technology than we have in our hospitals and laboratories — had more babies survive their first months of life than our babies in the United States.

With fewer high-tech hospitals and obstetricians available, many of those countries — like Holland, Sweden and Denmark — use midwives as the primary care-givers for healthy women during their pregnancies and births."

Is it 'ironic' that Sweden has the LOWEST mortality rate and they have a midwife based system? Denmark is #10. Why will the medical professionals not see these statistics and take them to heart? Why does it seem that the OBs are more interested in their pocket books than what the statistics and facts show? Look at the statistics for yourself before deciding to go to the hospital and have an OB deliver. You're baby could be one of those 6.4. :(

Infant Mortality Rates 2006 infant deaths per 1000 of populationhttp://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0004393.html
1. Sweden 2.8
2. Japan 3.2
3. Finland 3.5
4. Norway 3.7
5. Czech Republic 3.9
6. Germany 4.1
7. France 4.2
8. Switzerland 4.3
9. Spain 4.4
10. Denmark 4.5
11. Australia 4.6
12. Austria 4.6
13. Canada 4.7
14. Portugal 5.0
15. United Kingdom 5.1
16. Ireland 5.3
17. Greece 5.4
18. Italy 5.8
19. New Zealand 5.8
20. Korea, South 6.2
21. United States 6.4
22. Israel 6.9
23. Cyprus 7.0
24. Poland 7.2
25. Slovakia 7.3
26.Hungary 8.4
27. Chile 8.6
28. Costa Rica 9.7
29. Sri Lanka 14.0
30. Russia 15.1
31. Panama 16.4
32. Mexico 20.3
33. Albania 20.8
34. Venezuela 21.5
35. Ecuador 22.9
36. China 23.1
37. Brazil 28.6
38. Syria 28.6
39. Guatemala 30.9
40. Peru 30.9
41. Egypt 31.3
42. Iran 40.3
43. Zimbabwe 51.7
44. India 54.6
45. Kenya 59.3
46. South Africa 60.7
47. Bangladesh 60.8
48. Pakistan 70.5
49. Nigeria 97.1
50. Mozambique 129.2
51. Angola 185.4

Saturday, March 3, 2007

IT'S A PARTY!!!

Come join the Blog Party-make friends and get your blog recognized!! http://www.5minutesformom.com/854/blog-party/

Pull up a chair and dance with me. Right now we have some 'old skool' on. Since I'm a mom, I tend to not keep much in the way of alcohol around, but you are more than welcome to some Diet Coke and Cheerios. :) If you look hard enough, you may even find my stash of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. I'm not giving any hints though.

Have fun!