Saturday, August 4, 2007
Where are the mice when I need them?
Today my husband and son are off on a long bike ride together. It's much needed father and son time but they keep sending me pictures of views along the way. It looks so nice, peaceful and relaxing, despite the work required for the ride. The girl who lives with us (takes care of the kids while my husband and I are in school) is laying outside in the hot Georgia sun, working on her tan. It must be nice to leave everything in this household up to me. While they are enjoying the weather, I'm washing and folding TONS of laundry, taking care of the other 4 kids, made everyone breakfast and lunch, then cleaned up those messes, getting ready to start dinner, etc. I feel like Cinderella when she got the invitation to the ball. She was so excited and then her evil stepmother and stepsisters gave her tons of chores to do with an 'understanding' that if she got it all done, she could go to the Ball as well. Cinderella knew it'd never get done and knew her time wasn't coming. She'd never get to go and her "me" time and enjoy the Ball. Then the mice came along. They helped her prepare a beautiful dress (although her sisters later destroyed it). They helped her in her work. Where are the mice when I need them? When will my time come to go out and just blow off an entire day? Why does it seem that the world goes on for everyone, except a mom. Sure, when I mention this to DH, he'll tell me to go and have some time alone. About the time I get to Starbucks to enjoy a White Chocolate Mocha with an extra shot of espresso, he'll call to ask where the diapers are. Shortly after that he'll call and say that one of the kids is poopy. Before long, my whole time alone is filled with all the problems of the day, followed by a phone call asking when I'll be home cause the kids are hungry. The world would have stopped for Wicked Stepmother and Stepsisters if it wasn't for Cinderella. 'It's the end of the world as they knew it' when she stood up and took time for herself. Life would completely have fallen apart. Thank goodness the mice helped her out and she was able to have that moment at the Ball. Her life changed when she was given that few minutes to herself. It's something that we all need. We all need to find that time alone and be refreshed. We all need time where we aren't bothered with the hassles of life and can just focus on ourselves. As moms, we give and give and give to everyone else and have little left over for us. I want to work out, lay in the sun, become the woman I want to. I want to lose weight, dress nice, be the cute girl that my husband fell in love with. I want to captivate him, entice him, draw him in in ways I haven't done since I was 18. Instead, my boobs have fallen, my stretchmarks are ever present, my hair is a mess, there are spots on my shirt. I want to be like my babysitter laying out in the sun, going on her daily runs, just to keep up her girlish figure. I want to go to the library like she did yesterday, just to get away. I want to have girlfriends to just go and have dinner with. But life is here and my life is a different reality. Someday, my mice may come and my Fairy Godmother may wave her magic wand and my husband will be the Prince Charming that swept Cinderella off her feet. For now, I'll just sit and look at my pumpkin and dream of the day it's a beautiful carraige. My life is good. My kids are amazing. My husband really is adoring. My home is nice and my bills are paid. What more can a girl REALLY ask for? It's not always the fairytale that we dream it to be, but it's always good to know that we really are a princess at the core. Keep dreaming of the day your chariot comes. Keep dreaming of the day you waltz with your prince. Keep dreaming of the day your life becomes what you always dreamed it would be. It'll come....if you just keep believing.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Know your rights RE: vaccinations
Did you know that while all states say it is mandatory to have your child immunized, that it really isn't mandatory? Did you know that all 50 states have waivers of some form or another? This is something that school systems don't let you know when you go in to register your child.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Remedies for Morning Sickness
Now that you are experiencing some of the normal symptoms of pregnancy, you are probably also feeling some affects of morning sickness as well. You are probably ready to find a solution or feeling like you need to just 'give up' because you don't see an end in sight. What you are normal. Most women experience some sort of nauseau and other affects of morning sickness in their first trimester. A few will have it through their entire pregnancy. You are now scouring the internet, looking for a solution. Here are a few things that might help.
Ginger-
One of the best solutions found is ginger, which has been used as a remedy for thousands of years.
Ginger-
One of the best solutions found is ginger, which has been used as a remedy for thousands of years.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Unassisted Birth Info For Dad
If you are considering an unassisted homebirth, one of the biggest challenges that could face you is making sure that your significant other is on board with the idea. Men often have every possible misconception in their head about birth and are full of questions and fear about how natural of a process birth really is. For me, it was the other way around. My husband wanted me to do my last birth unassisted and I couldn't get over my own hangups about it. While I am not a fearful person at all when it comes to birth, I still had the nagging "what if's" that kept creeping in. I then had a couple different dreams that I was completely alone when I had my baby and decided I needed to prepare. I started educating myself about it and get comfortable with the idea. In my mind, it started to become the perfect birth to me...me alone in my room, calling my husband at work a bit later to tell him that I had had the baby. The night I delivered, it turned out I DID have an unassisted birth. The birth happened too quickly and my midwife missed it by 10 minutes. I learned so much in that process that if I were to decide to have another baby, I would most definitely do it unassisted.
My story will probably differe dramatically from yours and you will need to help coax your husband along. You will need and want to work together as a team in the birth process more than likely and so having him in agreement on your decision is one of the first steps. Today while surfing online, I found that the unassisted birth site has a great section for fathers. This is a great point to start him on his journey! I hope that someone can find this link useful.
I look forward to reading your unassisted birth stories in the future!!!
http://www.unassistedhomebirth.com/fathers/
My story will probably differe dramatically from yours and you will need to help coax your husband along. You will need and want to work together as a team in the birth process more than likely and so having him in agreement on your decision is one of the first steps. Today while surfing online, I found that the unassisted birth site has a great section for fathers. This is a great point to start him on his journey! I hope that someone can find this link useful.
I look forward to reading your unassisted birth stories in the future!!!
http://www.unassistedhomebirth.com/fathers/
Been MIA
Man, where have I been? I haven't posted in quite awhile...and I was doing so good too. I hope that I still have at least a couple people who will stop by here and read these blogs as I write them. I'm going to try again.
So, where have I been? Well, I think I mentioned before about us moving to GA in June so my husband and I can go to chiropractic college. Well, he left 7 weeks ago to start his first quarter down there, leaving me with 5 kids and to pack up our house and move. 3 1/2 weeks ago I got the house packed up in PODS containers and they are in storage and the kids and I are staying with my parents. Tim has really journeyed hard the last 5 weeks while in classes as he never 'learned how to learn' while in high school and is now learning that. He was so excited yesterday to get an A on his biology test. Not only was it an A, but he tied wtih one other person as the highest grade in the class and ended up setting the curve for everyone else! I'm so proud of him. He's worked so hard to get that A and has never before in his life seen such an achievement in school. It sounds so simple to most of us, but if you are one who has struggled with school, being given all sorts of 'labels' along the way and constantly fighting just for a C, you understand what he's accomplished in that.
Anyways, I'll be doing my best to get more things on here and keep this blog moving again. I'm really looking forward to writing in it again and hope that my readers will find this one of their normal stops in the blog world.
Kelly
So, where have I been? Well, I think I mentioned before about us moving to GA in June so my husband and I can go to chiropractic college. Well, he left 7 weeks ago to start his first quarter down there, leaving me with 5 kids and to pack up our house and move. 3 1/2 weeks ago I got the house packed up in PODS containers and they are in storage and the kids and I are staying with my parents. Tim has really journeyed hard the last 5 weeks while in classes as he never 'learned how to learn' while in high school and is now learning that. He was so excited yesterday to get an A on his biology test. Not only was it an A, but he tied wtih one other person as the highest grade in the class and ended up setting the curve for everyone else! I'm so proud of him. He's worked so hard to get that A and has never before in his life seen such an achievement in school. It sounds so simple to most of us, but if you are one who has struggled with school, being given all sorts of 'labels' along the way and constantly fighting just for a C, you understand what he's accomplished in that.
Anyways, I'll be doing my best to get more things on here and keep this blog moving again. I'm really looking forward to writing in it again and hope that my readers will find this one of their normal stops in the blog world.
Kelly
I've been bad
Man, where have I been? I haven't posted in quite awhile...and I was doing so good too. I hope that I still have at least a couple people who will stop by here and read these blogs as I write them. I'm going to try again.
So, where have I been? Well, I think I mentioned before about us moving to GA in June so my husband and I can go to chiropractic college. Well, he left 7 weeks ago to start his first quarter down there, leaving me with 5 kids and to pack up our house and move. 3 1/2 weeks ago I got the house packed up in PODS containers and they are in storage and the kids and I are staying with my parents. Tim has really journeyed hard the last 5 weeks while in classes as he never 'learned how to learn' while in high school and is now learning that. He was so excited yesterday to get an A on his biology test. Not only was it an A, but he tied wtih one other person as the highest grade in the class and ended up setting the curve for everyone else! I'm so proud of him. He's worked so hard to get that A and has never before in his life seen such an achievement in school. It sounds so simple to most of us, but if you are one who has struggled with school, being given all sorts of 'labels' along the way and constantly fighting just for a C, you understand what he's accomplished in that.
Anyways, I'll be doing my best to get more things on here and keep this blog moving again. I'm really looking forward to writing in it again and hope that my readers will find this one of their normal stops in the blog world.
Kelly
So, where have I been? Well, I think I mentioned before about us moving to GA in June so my husband and I can go to chiropractic college. Well, he left 7 weeks ago to start his first quarter down there, leaving me with 5 kids and to pack up our house and move. 3 1/2 weeks ago I got the house packed up in PODS containers and they are in storage and the kids and I are staying with my parents. Tim has really journeyed hard the last 5 weeks while in classes as he never 'learned how to learn' while in high school and is now learning that. He was so excited yesterday to get an A on his biology test. Not only was it an A, but he tied wtih one other person as the highest grade in the class and ended up setting the curve for everyone else! I'm so proud of him. He's worked so hard to get that A and has never before in his life seen such an achievement in school. It sounds so simple to most of us, but if you are one who has struggled with school, being given all sorts of 'labels' along the way and constantly fighting just for a C, you understand what he's accomplished in that.
Anyways, I'll be doing my best to get more things on here and keep this blog moving again. I'm really looking forward to writing in it again and hope that my readers will find this one of their normal stops in the blog world.
Kelly
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
When Did Life Get So Hard?
When did life get so hard?
When did life switch from being fun and enjoyable to being hard? Where is that line in the sand where once you stepped over, you not had to begin carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? I'm a huge news junkie and can't miss the news. I have to watch it 2x a day most days, just to 'keep up to date'. Ya never know what happened between noon news and 5pm news that could greatly affect your life, safety or happiness. Yep, I need to keep up to date. As I was watching the news last night, it was story after story of despair. A mother/grandmother shot and killed. Tara Grant murdered and mutilated by her husband, leaving behind 2 small children. Unemployment rates skyrocket in our state. A jetliner crashes today and kills 21. The distress around us never seems to stop. Bills pile up. People get more rude. Life just gets harder.
Where did our innocence go? When I look at my kids as they sit on the floor going through an old box of pictures, laughing at how they looked as babies or talking about the toys they used to have, I'm reminded of the joys of being a child. Life was easy. Nothing really phased us. Our friends and neighbors moved away and life went on. By the end of summer, we had new friends. Our biggest financial concern was how much money the tooth fairy would bring us for our newly lost tooth. Our biggest daily concern was that we had to clean our room or figure out our math homework. Life was so easy. When did that change? High school didn't change it because life didn't get more hard. More complicated, yes, but not more 'hard'. College didn't change it really, as it was a blow off in a lot of ways. I don't know when I woke up one day and life became different. I don't know when challenges started controlling my life, my joy, my peace. I don't know when it was that I crossed that line in the sand that said "You've grown up and your in a different place now". There are so many days that I still feel too young to have been married for 11 years and have 5 kids. I have days that I feel inside me that I can't POSSIBLY be older than 21. Maybe that's part of me that is longing for the simpler, more peaceful life. Maybe it's me hoping that someday things in this world will get easier. But will they? I want to find that line in the sand and step back over it into the day before things became 'real'. I want to go back and start smelling the roses again. I want to play in the rain. I want to spend time on the phone with friends, talking about the loves of our life and how silly they are. Last week I wrote about what I'd tell myself if I could meet "ME" as a teenager. Now I want to tell "ME" what my teenager self would tell me.
1. Make time to be your with friends.
2. Don't take life too seriously. Find time to do the little things.
3. Sleep is good. Get LOTS of it
4. Don't worry so much abou ta perfect house (bedroom). Messes are ok.
When did life switch from being fun and enjoyable to being hard? Where is that line in the sand where once you stepped over, you not had to begin carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? I'm a huge news junkie and can't miss the news. I have to watch it 2x a day most days, just to 'keep up to date'. Ya never know what happened between noon news and 5pm news that could greatly affect your life, safety or happiness. Yep, I need to keep up to date. As I was watching the news last night, it was story after story of despair. A mother/grandmother shot and killed. Tara Grant murdered and mutilated by her husband, leaving behind 2 small children. Unemployment rates skyrocket in our state. A jetliner crashes today and kills 21. The distress around us never seems to stop. Bills pile up. People get more rude. Life just gets harder.
Where did our innocence go? When I look at my kids as they sit on the floor going through an old box of pictures, laughing at how they looked as babies or talking about the toys they used to have, I'm reminded of the joys of being a child. Life was easy. Nothing really phased us. Our friends and neighbors moved away and life went on. By the end of summer, we had new friends. Our biggest financial concern was how much money the tooth fairy would bring us for our newly lost tooth. Our biggest daily concern was that we had to clean our room or figure out our math homework. Life was so easy. When did that change? High school didn't change it because life didn't get more hard. More complicated, yes, but not more 'hard'. College didn't change it really, as it was a blow off in a lot of ways. I don't know when I woke up one day and life became different. I don't know when challenges started controlling my life, my joy, my peace. I don't know when it was that I crossed that line in the sand that said "You've grown up and your in a different place now". There are so many days that I still feel too young to have been married for 11 years and have 5 kids. I have days that I feel inside me that I can't POSSIBLY be older than 21. Maybe that's part of me that is longing for the simpler, more peaceful life. Maybe it's me hoping that someday things in this world will get easier. But will they? I want to find that line in the sand and step back over it into the day before things became 'real'. I want to go back and start smelling the roses again. I want to play in the rain. I want to spend time on the phone with friends, talking about the loves of our life and how silly they are. Last week I wrote about what I'd tell myself if I could meet "ME" as a teenager. Now I want to tell "ME" what my teenager self would tell me.
1. Make time to be your with friends.
2. Don't take life too seriously. Find time to do the little things.
3. Sleep is good. Get LOTS of it
4. Don't worry so much abou ta perfect house (bedroom). Messes are ok.
Vagina, Vagina, Vagina
There! I said it! I absolutely HATE that word and don't know why. I think it has to do with my conservative, Baptist upbringing in a home where anything remotely sexual was not discussed. I don't have a problem with teaching my boys that they have a penis, but for some reason, teaching my girls that they had a vagina was so much tougher. For the first several years, we just never talked about it. I never called it ANY name and they never asked. One day about 6 months to a year ago, I hear the girls in the bathtub and I hear them talking about washing their 'flower'. I asked them what they were talking about and they pointed to their vagina and vulva. I asked them where they heard this was a 'flower' and they said it was from my mother in law while they were at her house that weekend before. She had been giving them their baths and told them to wash their arms, their tummies, their bottoms, their 'flower'. I was flabbergasted!! This is NOT a flower. Flowers grow outside in the dirt. The smell and look pretty for a bit, then they DIE. That is NOT what my girls have. They have VAGINAS! I talked to them about what a flower was and what their vagina was.
I never had this same problem teaching my sons that they had a penis however. I remember not long after Seth was born, we were in church and our pastor was preaching about marraige and family or something and I remember as clear as day him saying something about how families tend to make these things an embarrassement and encouraged all of us as parents to not say "ookie bookie wookie" instead of penis. Yes, he said 'ookie bookie wookie'. We still laugh about this usage of 'words'. It was at that day that it all made sense I decided to start calling body parts what they were. My friend went so far that when her boys would come into the bathroom when they were little and ask what she was doing, she'd say she was peeing. They said "Where's your penis?" and she responded with "Girls don't have a penis. We have a vulva."
I had been married for several years and my DH was having to teach me about my own body and how things worked because I had no clue. I had no clue about 'clitoris' or any of that and I don't want my girls not knowing. I want them to know it's safe to talk to me about these things and not something to be embarrassed of. I rememeber when I was about 16 or 17, my boyfriend and I would be making out and I'd feel all funny 'down there'. I remember sitting up on the bathroom counter looking at my swollen lips and vagina, wondering what was going on. It was intriguing to me, but there was no one I could ask about the hows or whys. I was embarrassed about it. Why? Because my parents had MADE me embarrassed about such things, imo. They taught me I had eyes, nose, mouth, arms, hands, feet, legs and 'bottom'. To me, my vagina was taboo and something to be embarrassed about. Something to keep completely secretive and never discuss. Imagine the first time I went to the OB for a PAP. I hear the doctor using words like clitoris, vagina, etc and could feel my face turning a million shades of red. I obviously knew what she was talking about, but to have it be so OPENLY talked about was not something I was used to. My husband still laughs at me as I'll refer to my vagina as my 'hoohoo' but it's not something I EVER say to my daughters. I want them to grow up without the embarrassment of their female parts. I want them to be as proud of their vagina as a man is of his penis! (And we all know that THAT is pride!!!) Men's lives seem to often revolve around their penis. LOL
Do you remember when Kindergarten Cop came out? Remember the scene where the little boy raises his hand and says "Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina." You could hear the gasps of all the moms and dads in the room. This is NOT something that was openly discussed, even in 1990. (WOW! Can you believe it's been 17 years since 1990???) This little boy knew something that so many little girls didn't. They were taught they had 'flowers' or 'bottom'. (The same is true about their breasts. We tell them they have 'buttons' instead of nipples or breasts. ) And most of the nicknames for a vagina are quite absurd or offensive. Why do we allow this? Why do we allow words like 'beaver' or 'cunt' in refering to our parts? Look at this horrible list of names!!! http://www.blap.com/joke.php?query=188
We need to make sure our daughters are being taught to be be proud of who they are, how they were created and what parts they possess.
*** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of her work. Kelly Milano, can be reached at: kmilano@gmail.com Please provide a link to her work on your site.Do not publish without permission of the author.
I never had this same problem teaching my sons that they had a penis however. I remember not long after Seth was born, we were in church and our pastor was preaching about marraige and family or something and I remember as clear as day him saying something about how families tend to make these things an embarrassement and encouraged all of us as parents to not say "ookie bookie wookie" instead of penis. Yes, he said 'ookie bookie wookie'. We still laugh about this usage of 'words'. It was at that day that it all made sense I decided to start calling body parts what they were. My friend went so far that when her boys would come into the bathroom when they were little and ask what she was doing, she'd say she was peeing. They said "Where's your penis?" and she responded with "Girls don't have a penis. We have a vulva."
I had been married for several years and my DH was having to teach me about my own body and how things worked because I had no clue. I had no clue about 'clitoris' or any of that and I don't want my girls not knowing. I want them to know it's safe to talk to me about these things and not something to be embarrassed of. I rememeber when I was about 16 or 17, my boyfriend and I would be making out and I'd feel all funny 'down there'. I remember sitting up on the bathroom counter looking at my swollen lips and vagina, wondering what was going on. It was intriguing to me, but there was no one I could ask about the hows or whys. I was embarrassed about it. Why? Because my parents had MADE me embarrassed about such things, imo. They taught me I had eyes, nose, mouth, arms, hands, feet, legs and 'bottom'. To me, my vagina was taboo and something to be embarrassed about. Something to keep completely secretive and never discuss. Imagine the first time I went to the OB for a PAP. I hear the doctor using words like clitoris, vagina, etc and could feel my face turning a million shades of red. I obviously knew what she was talking about, but to have it be so OPENLY talked about was not something I was used to. My husband still laughs at me as I'll refer to my vagina as my 'hoohoo' but it's not something I EVER say to my daughters. I want them to grow up without the embarrassment of their female parts. I want them to be as proud of their vagina as a man is of his penis! (And we all know that THAT is pride!!!) Men's lives seem to often revolve around their penis. LOL
Do you remember when Kindergarten Cop came out? Remember the scene where the little boy raises his hand and says "Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina." You could hear the gasps of all the moms and dads in the room. This is NOT something that was openly discussed, even in 1990. (WOW! Can you believe it's been 17 years since 1990???) This little boy knew something that so many little girls didn't. They were taught they had 'flowers' or 'bottom'. (The same is true about their breasts. We tell them they have 'buttons' instead of nipples or breasts. ) And most of the nicknames for a vagina are quite absurd or offensive. Why do we allow this? Why do we allow words like 'beaver' or 'cunt' in refering to our parts? Look at this horrible list of names!!! http://www.blap.com/joke.php?query=188
We need to make sure our daughters are being taught to be be proud of who they are, how they were created and what parts they possess.
*** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of her work. Kelly Milano, can be reached at: kmilano@gmail.com Please provide a link to her work on your site.Do not publish without permission of the author.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Everyday's a Holiday-
March 6
6- National Frozen Food Day
6- Read Aloud Day
6- Toronto's Birthday 1834
6- Michalangelo's Birthday
6- National Chocolate Cheese Cake Day
6- Oreo Cookies Day first sold 1912
6- Stop Bad service day
6- Alamo Day
Oreo Cookies and chocolate cheesecake. Today must be a day made straight from heaven! I swear it's what heaven will be like. I mean, who could ask for more?
Oh wait...how about a Oreo Cheesecake!!! http://homepage.mac.com/robotch/DessertsBasics/oreo_cheese.html
In celebration of Oreo's birthday, why not go get a package of Double Stuff and challenge your kids to a race. See who can open them and lick off the icing the fastest. Make a lasting memory with them.
Do you have any Oreo memory's?
6- National Frozen Food Day
6- Read Aloud Day
6- Toronto's Birthday 1834
6- Michalangelo's Birthday
6- National Chocolate Cheese Cake Day
6- Oreo Cookies Day first sold 1912
6- Stop Bad service day
6- Alamo Day
Oreo Cookies and chocolate cheesecake. Today must be a day made straight from heaven! I swear it's what heaven will be like. I mean, who could ask for more?
Oh wait...how about a Oreo Cheesecake!!! http://homepage.mac.com/robotch/DessertsBasics/oreo_cheese.html
In celebration of Oreo's birthday, why not go get a package of Double Stuff and challenge your kids to a race. See who can open them and lick off the icing the fastest. Make a lasting memory with them.
Do you have any Oreo memory's?
Tuesday Twelve 03/06/07
Since I'm new to the blogging thing and no one really knows me, I'll start by listing 12 things about me. :)
1. I have 5 kids
2. I can touch my nose with my tongue
3. I've been married for 11 years.
4. My favorite flower is a tiger lily or day lillies
5. My favorite color is green...yep, I have Irish Heritage
6. I swore from the time I was 6 and in first grade that I'd marry a Mexican. My first crush that year was Mark Romariz. 13 years later, at age 19, I married my husband.....who is Mexican!!!! :)
7. I'm very claustrophobic. Even sitting in traffic gets me panicking at times.
8. I have a Bachelors Degree in Psychology
9. I'm getting ready to start college to enter a Doctor of Chiropractic program(DC...Chiropractor) and also Life Coaching.
10. I hope to one day write a book. God's given me the idea and the first several lines already and I have the basic understanding of what each chapter will be about. Just waiting for the "GO" in my spirit to actually start it.
11. I love politics. I'm a raving Republican to the core and am quite conservative on most issues.
12. I love my Jesus and am working hard at finding a new found intimacy with Him.
1. I have 5 kids
2. I can touch my nose with my tongue
3. I've been married for 11 years.
4. My favorite flower is a tiger lily or day lillies
5. My favorite color is green...yep, I have Irish Heritage
6. I swore from the time I was 6 and in first grade that I'd marry a Mexican. My first crush that year was Mark Romariz. 13 years later, at age 19, I married my husband.....who is Mexican!!!! :)
7. I'm very claustrophobic. Even sitting in traffic gets me panicking at times.
8. I have a Bachelors Degree in Psychology
9. I'm getting ready to start college to enter a Doctor of Chiropractic program(DC...Chiropractor) and also Life Coaching.
10. I hope to one day write a book. God's given me the idea and the first several lines already and I have the basic understanding of what each chapter will be about. Just waiting for the "GO" in my spirit to actually start it.
11. I love politics. I'm a raving Republican to the core and am quite conservative on most issues.
12. I love my Jesus and am working hard at finding a new found intimacy with Him.
Monday, March 5, 2007
Monday Mournings 3/5/07
This probably isn't the best day for me to start this. It was a pretty rough weekend and so I'm not going to go into all that. The one thing I took from this weekend is God is Faithful. If you read my Mother-In-Law Day post, you'll understand a bit about what my weekend entailed...a conversation with MIL and FIL. Anyways, we also had some good times this weekend. On Friday we took the younger kids out for the day while the older ones were in school. We went to McD for breakfast and then had a ton of errands.
Saturday I hit up a Mom2Mom sale and did really well. I got a ton of clothes for the girls, which are desperately needed for summer.
Sunday was our weekly home church at our house and it was SO good. If you haven't heard of Gary Keesee, you need to check him out. His understanding of Kingdom Finances is AMAZING!!!
What do I expect this week. Let's see. I have parent teacher conferences on Thursday so that will be fun. I get really good reports on these two kids so it'll be smooth sailing I'm sure. I also have a midwife appointment that day for my 6 week check up (even though I'll be 8 1/2 weeks).
Wednesday, my best friend and I are going shopping. We are going to a jazz club/martini bar next week and they are doing Latin Night so we need to find some cute outfits to wear for dance lessons. We are also shopping for stuff for a Care Package for our friend Lincoln who is in Israel til August. He's pretty lonely so we are shopping for him. He's a riot, so it should be fun to see what crazy stuff we can send.
Other than that, nothing much happening this week. The kids have Thursday and Friday off school so I may do something fun one of those days with them.
Hope everyone has a great Monday
Saturday I hit up a Mom2Mom sale and did really well. I got a ton of clothes for the girls, which are desperately needed for summer.
Sunday was our weekly home church at our house and it was SO good. If you haven't heard of Gary Keesee, you need to check him out. His understanding of Kingdom Finances is AMAZING!!!
What do I expect this week. Let's see. I have parent teacher conferences on Thursday so that will be fun. I get really good reports on these two kids so it'll be smooth sailing I'm sure. I also have a midwife appointment that day for my 6 week check up (even though I'll be 8 1/2 weeks).
Wednesday, my best friend and I are going shopping. We are going to a jazz club/martini bar next week and they are doing Latin Night so we need to find some cute outfits to wear for dance lessons. We are also shopping for stuff for a Care Package for our friend Lincoln who is in Israel til August. He's pretty lonely so we are shopping for him. He's a riot, so it should be fun to see what crazy stuff we can send.
Other than that, nothing much happening this week. The kids have Thursday and Friday off school so I may do something fun one of those days with them.
Hope everyone has a great Monday
Going to do this
I have so many ideas floating around my head. I'm going to get this blog moving and I hope that someone will come along, find it and have fun with it and that I can meet some new people, make new friends and just have fun. Here's my plan. Everyday I'm going to journal about from the site Holiday For Everyday. If you haven't seen it, check it out. There really IS a reason to celebrate everyday!! I'm going to pick one reason to celebrate and write something about it. I'm also going to start a segment that will go everyday. Here's how it will work...
Sunday Seven-I got this idea from another site and hope to link with them. This will be one thing from each day of the previous week that I am thankful for or really enjoyed.
Monday Mournings-This is just the complaints (or joys) about having to start a new week, the updates from the weekend, the expectations for the week.
Tuesday Twelve-This will be like David Letterman's Top 10 List but will involve me, things I enjoy, my family, etc.
Wordless Wednesdays-Wednesdays will be devoted to a picture, no words. I want to see your picture too (whatever it may be) so stop by and post it.
Thursday Thankfullness-Thursdays will be about a prayer of thanksgiving. We don't thank God for His blessings often enough!
Friday Funnies-Simple...jokes, jokes and more jokes
Saturday I still have to come up with something for this.
I'm hoping to have fun, so let's get started.
Sunday Seven-I got this idea from another site and hope to link with them. This will be one thing from each day of the previous week that I am thankful for or really enjoyed.
Monday Mournings-This is just the complaints (or joys) about having to start a new week, the updates from the weekend, the expectations for the week.
Tuesday Twelve-This will be like David Letterman's Top 10 List but will involve me, things I enjoy, my family, etc.
Wordless Wednesdays-Wednesdays will be devoted to a picture, no words. I want to see your picture too (whatever it may be) so stop by and post it.
Thursday Thankfullness-Thursdays will be about a prayer of thanksgiving. We don't thank God for His blessings often enough!
Friday Funnies-Simple...jokes, jokes and more jokes
Saturday I still have to come up with something for this.
I'm hoping to have fun, so let's get started.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
My inspirations
I was asked the question "What ispires me" and would have to answer that it's my family. I'm a sahm to 5 kids (youngest is almost 8 weeks and the oldest is almost 9) and am married to a wonderful man. When I think of inspiration, this picture sums up where I'm at right now.
My children are the inspiration behind why I fight so hard everyday. My husband and I have just made the VERY tough decision to uproot our family from Michigan to Georgia and both of us go back to school to get a degree as a DC (doctor of chiropractic). Leaving our family and friends, and everything we know, behind is not an easy choice, but having a better life and being able to offer more to my children, becomes my inspiration. The look in my sons eyes in this picture as he looks both with admiration, and a bit of mischief, at my husband is an inspiration to me. I'm inspired to be more as a mom when I see my husband interacting with the kids. I'm inspired to be a better "ME". Being in college full time with 5 kid will not be easy, but when I look at this picture, and see the delight in my son's eyes, I will be reminded to "Keep Going"! and that the end result is worth the momentary pain.
My children are the inspiration behind why I fight so hard everyday. My husband and I have just made the VERY tough decision to uproot our family from Michigan to Georgia and both of us go back to school to get a degree as a DC (doctor of chiropractic). Leaving our family and friends, and everything we know, behind is not an easy choice, but having a better life and being able to offer more to my children, becomes my inspiration. The look in my sons eyes in this picture as he looks both with admiration, and a bit of mischief, at my husband is an inspiration to me. I'm inspired to be more as a mom when I see my husband interacting with the kids. I'm inspired to be a better "ME". Being in college full time with 5 kid will not be easy, but when I look at this picture, and see the delight in my son's eyes, I will be reminded to "Keep Going"! and that the end result is worth the momentary pain.
Which is more offensive?
As I sit here to type this out, my almost 8 week old son is lying on my lap, nursing happily on my right breast. Every couple swallosw brings a small sigh as he 'sings' to himself. He's truly happy. His eyes are rolling back in his head as true uphoria takes over and he begins to drift to sleep. What could be more perfect that that?
In today's society however, breastfeeding is still seen as taboo. Breasts are sexual and nothing more. Many fail to overlook their life sustaining ability, the emotional stability they add to a child, the immunities that the milk provides and the brainpower that it contributes too. It's all about bigger boobs to please a man's eyes. It's about the breasts 'sell-a-bility' for media and advertisers. It's about how well a quick flash of a breast can sell their product, no matter WHAT product is being sold.
There are now raging debates over breastfeeding being offensive. What is offensive about a mother feeding her child lovingly? What is offensive about a small baby or child looking up at his mom's eyes, with a slight drop of milk dripping down his cheek as he releases his latch and smiles at mom, in his own way, thanking her for providing for him and loving him so much?
Decide for yourself. Which looks more offensive to you?
OR 
In today's society however, breastfeeding is still seen as taboo. Breasts are sexual and nothing more. Many fail to overlook their life sustaining ability, the emotional stability they add to a child, the immunities that the milk provides and the brainpower that it contributes too. It's all about bigger boobs to please a man's eyes. It's about the breasts 'sell-a-bility' for media and advertisers. It's about how well a quick flash of a breast can sell their product, no matter WHAT product is being sold.
There are now raging debates over breastfeeding being offensive. What is offensive about a mother feeding her child lovingly? What is offensive about a small baby or child looking up at his mom's eyes, with a slight drop of milk dripping down his cheek as he releases his latch and smiles at mom, in his own way, thanking her for providing for him and loving him so much?
Decide for yourself. Which looks more offensive to you?
OR 
OR 
OR 
Which would you rather YOUR daughter do??? I know which MY choice is!!
Infant Mortality Rate
This is quite interesting to me. In the US, where we have every means of hospital and medical care available to us, obstetrics and every possible means of medical equipment for every possible "emergency" and for all the "What Ifs", our infant mortality rate is unbelievable. For every 1000 births last year in the US, 6.4 were fatal to the infant. Why is that? In a society like ours, we shouldn't rate #21! In another list, the US is ranked #43!!!! https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/rankorder/2091rank.html
The World Health Organization has seen the potential danger in overusing technogoly in childbirth and has tried to urge the US to go back to a midwife type system.
Gentlebirth.org says it like this "The neonatal mortality rate for the U.S. in 1989 was slightly more than 10 per 1,000 live births. We have the most highly sophisticated and expensive system of maternity care in the world, yet in the same year twenty other countries — countries with less technology than we have in our hospitals and laboratories — had more babies survive their first months of life than our babies in the United States.
With fewer high-tech hospitals and obstetricians available, many of those countries — like Holland, Sweden and Denmark — use midwives as the primary care-givers for healthy women during their pregnancies and births."
Is it 'ironic' that Sweden has the LOWEST mortality rate and they have a midwife based system? Denmark is #10. Why will the medical professionals not see these statistics and take them to heart? Why does it seem that the OBs are more interested in their pocket books than what the statistics and facts show? Look at the statistics for yourself before deciding to go to the hospital and have an OB deliver. You're baby could be one of those 6.4. :(
Infant Mortality Rates 2006 infant deaths per 1000 of populationhttp://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0004393.html
1. Sweden 2.8
2. Japan 3.2
3. Finland 3.5
4. Norway 3.7
5. Czech Republic 3.9
6. Germany 4.1
7. France 4.2
8. Switzerland 4.3
9. Spain 4.4
10. Denmark 4.5
11. Australia 4.6
12. Austria 4.6
13. Canada 4.7
14. Portugal 5.0
15. United Kingdom 5.1
16. Ireland 5.3
17. Greece 5.4
18. Italy 5.8
19. New Zealand 5.8
20. Korea, South 6.2
21. United States 6.4
22. Israel 6.9
23. Cyprus 7.0
24. Poland 7.2
25. Slovakia 7.3
26.Hungary 8.4
27. Chile 8.6
28. Costa Rica 9.7
29. Sri Lanka 14.0
30. Russia 15.1
31. Panama 16.4
32. Mexico 20.3
33. Albania 20.8
34. Venezuela 21.5
35. Ecuador 22.9
36. China 23.1
37. Brazil 28.6
38. Syria 28.6
39. Guatemala 30.9
40. Peru 30.9
41. Egypt 31.3
42. Iran 40.3
43. Zimbabwe 51.7
44. India 54.6
45. Kenya 59.3
46. South Africa 60.7
47. Bangladesh 60.8
48. Pakistan 70.5
49. Nigeria 97.1
50. Mozambique 129.2
51. Angola 185.4
The World Health Organization has seen the potential danger in overusing technogoly in childbirth and has tried to urge the US to go back to a midwife type system.
Gentlebirth.org says it like this "The neonatal mortality rate for the U.S. in 1989 was slightly more than 10 per 1,000 live births. We have the most highly sophisticated and expensive system of maternity care in the world, yet in the same year twenty other countries — countries with less technology than we have in our hospitals and laboratories — had more babies survive their first months of life than our babies in the United States.
With fewer high-tech hospitals and obstetricians available, many of those countries — like Holland, Sweden and Denmark — use midwives as the primary care-givers for healthy women during their pregnancies and births."
Is it 'ironic' that Sweden has the LOWEST mortality rate and they have a midwife based system? Denmark is #10. Why will the medical professionals not see these statistics and take them to heart? Why does it seem that the OBs are more interested in their pocket books than what the statistics and facts show? Look at the statistics for yourself before deciding to go to the hospital and have an OB deliver. You're baby could be one of those 6.4. :(
Infant Mortality Rates 2006 infant deaths per 1000 of populationhttp://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0004393.html
1. Sweden 2.8
2. Japan 3.2
3. Finland 3.5
4. Norway 3.7
5. Czech Republic 3.9
6. Germany 4.1
7. France 4.2
8. Switzerland 4.3
9. Spain 4.4
10. Denmark 4.5
11. Australia 4.6
12. Austria 4.6
13. Canada 4.7
14. Portugal 5.0
15. United Kingdom 5.1
16. Ireland 5.3
17. Greece 5.4
18. Italy 5.8
19. New Zealand 5.8
20. Korea, South 6.2
21. United States 6.4
22. Israel 6.9
23. Cyprus 7.0
24. Poland 7.2
25. Slovakia 7.3
26.Hungary 8.4
27. Chile 8.6
28. Costa Rica 9.7
29. Sri Lanka 14.0
30. Russia 15.1
31. Panama 16.4
32. Mexico 20.3
33. Albania 20.8
34. Venezuela 21.5
35. Ecuador 22.9
36. China 23.1
37. Brazil 28.6
38. Syria 28.6
39. Guatemala 30.9
40. Peru 30.9
41. Egypt 31.3
42. Iran 40.3
43. Zimbabwe 51.7
44. India 54.6
45. Kenya 59.3
46. South Africa 60.7
47. Bangladesh 60.8
48. Pakistan 70.5
49. Nigeria 97.1
50. Mozambique 129.2
51. Angola 185.4
Saturday, March 3, 2007
IT'S A PARTY!!!
Come join the Blog Party-make friends and get your blog recognized!! http://www.5minutesformom.com/854/blog-party/
Pull up a chair and dance with me. Right now we have some 'old skool' on. Since I'm a mom, I tend to not keep much in the way of alcohol around, but you are more than welcome to some Diet Coke and Cheerios. :) If you look hard enough, you may even find my stash of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. I'm not giving any hints though.
Have fun!
Pull up a chair and dance with me. Right now we have some 'old skool' on. Since I'm a mom, I tend to not keep much in the way of alcohol around, but you are more than welcome to some Diet Coke and Cheerios. :) If you look hard enough, you may even find my stash of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. I'm not giving any hints though.
Have fun!
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Pressures of beauty on our daughters
When we take a minute to think about it, where do most of our ideals about beauty come from? Yes, many come from tv and the images we see, but even before that, they come from our mother. We see her as she stands sideways in front of a long mirror, making sure her outfit doesn't make her look 'too fat'. We see her as she agonizes over a new wrinkle. We see her sigh as she tries on a pair of jeans that no longer fits loosely. As an toddler, we see her looking at her stretchmarks in the mirror. We see her fretting over a pimple before a night out on the town with or an important business meeting.
Even at these young ages, these images of our mother affect us. We see her trying all the latest diets and our perception of food is changed. Our images are continually altered as we see our mother striving for some sort of invisible, unattainable perfection.
How do these images affect us? We begin to start at a young age to fret about our looks. Girls as little as 3 & 4 are worried about their hair being messed up. 5 & 6 years olds are starting to make more comments such as "I'm fat". It's estimated that by age 9, over 70% of young girls have already been on some sort of a diet. 7 & 8 year olds are wearing provocative clothing and the design companies are catering to them as they create more bikinis, more low ride jeans and more midriff tops. Even in store fliers that are delivered to our houses on a weekly basis, we are bombarded with young girls, standing in seductive ways, sort of 'teasing' all those who might be looking at their pictures. At young ages, girls don't care about their 'uniqueness'. They are being taught that they are DIFFERENT and different isn't a good thing.
Society shapes our views of beauty and the ideals that we have. If you travel out of the country, you will see that in many 3rd world countries, beauty is defined by curves. The more curvy and plump a woman is, the more beautiful she is seen. Why? Because this means she is wealthier and has the money to eat what she wants. This becomes the pursuit of many men in those villages. In some of the cultures, larger hips are seen as beautiful. Why? Because they means they are more likely to be able to safely and easily birth babies, to continue the lineage of the family. In some Asian countries small feet are a sign of beauty. From a small age, young girls feet are literally crammed into shoes that are much too small. This keeps their feet from growing and is sometimes crippling. Each society has it's own standards.
If you look at art history, you will see the Burogue period and the art is full of large, plump women. They were the beauty of that time. When we look at movies that revolve around that same time period however, we see women who are small waisted and large busts bursting over the top of their low cut dresses. We are shown that this is what was beautiful at the time.
Look at this famous picture by Peter Paul Rubens c. 1618. The woman has a flabby stomach, larger thighs and even what would appear to be cellulose. The woman is actually a portrayal of the goddess Cybele, goddess of fertility and the mother of the other gods. Her body very much resembles a woman after giving birth. It's a beautiful thing, not something to be ashamed of as media makes us think.
As we work to change societies view of beauty, it's important for us as mothers to start with our daughters. We need to see them as beautiful. We need to gaurd the words that we say to them. We need to cherish and appreciate their uniqueness and help them to embrace that. It sets them apart from all the others. If we were all the same, wouldn't we in a sense then, be 'ordinary'? Instead, we are different. We are unique. We are special and because of that we are beautiful!!
*** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of her work.
Kelly Milano, can be reached at: kmilano@gmail.com
Please provide a link to her work on your site.
Do not publish without permission of the author.
2007
Even at these young ages, these images of our mother affect us. We see her trying all the latest diets and our perception of food is changed. Our images are continually altered as we see our mother striving for some sort of invisible, unattainable perfection.
How do these images affect us? We begin to start at a young age to fret about our looks. Girls as little as 3 & 4 are worried about their hair being messed up. 5 & 6 years olds are starting to make more comments such as "I'm fat". It's estimated that by age 9, over 70% of young girls have already been on some sort of a diet. 7 & 8 year olds are wearing provocative clothing and the design companies are catering to them as they create more bikinis, more low ride jeans and more midriff tops. Even in store fliers that are delivered to our houses on a weekly basis, we are bombarded with young girls, standing in seductive ways, sort of 'teasing' all those who might be looking at their pictures. At young ages, girls don't care about their 'uniqueness'. They are being taught that they are DIFFERENT and different isn't a good thing.
Society shapes our views of beauty and the ideals that we have. If you travel out of the country, you will see that in many 3rd world countries, beauty is defined by curves. The more curvy and plump a woman is, the more beautiful she is seen. Why? Because this means she is wealthier and has the money to eat what she wants. This becomes the pursuit of many men in those villages. In some of the cultures, larger hips are seen as beautiful. Why? Because they means they are more likely to be able to safely and easily birth babies, to continue the lineage of the family. In some Asian countries small feet are a sign of beauty. From a small age, young girls feet are literally crammed into shoes that are much too small. This keeps their feet from growing and is sometimes crippling. Each society has it's own standards.
If you look at art history, you will see the Burogue period and the art is full of large, plump women. They were the beauty of that time. When we look at movies that revolve around that same time period however, we see women who are small waisted and large busts bursting over the top of their low cut dresses. We are shown that this is what was beautiful at the time.
Look at this famous picture by Peter Paul Rubens c. 1618. The woman has a flabby stomach, larger thighs and even what would appear to be cellulose. The woman is actually a portrayal of the goddess Cybele, goddess of fertility and the mother of the other gods. Her body very much resembles a woman after giving birth. It's a beautiful thing, not something to be ashamed of as media makes us think.As we work to change societies view of beauty, it's important for us as mothers to start with our daughters. We need to see them as beautiful. We need to gaurd the words that we say to them. We need to cherish and appreciate their uniqueness and help them to embrace that. It sets them apart from all the others. If we were all the same, wouldn't we in a sense then, be 'ordinary'? Instead, we are different. We are unique. We are special and because of that we are beautiful!!
*** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of her work.
Kelly Milano, can be reached at: kmilano@gmail.com
Please provide a link to her work on your site.
Do not publish without permission of the author.
2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Circumcision-to or not to?
Circumcision is one of the most controversial issues of the day among midwives, doulas, doctors and new moms. Ask 10 people and you will probably get 8-10 various opinions on the subject matter. While I hate this topic, I feel it's one that I need to address, at least a tiny bit, in this blog. The American Academy of Pediatrics says the following: "Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision. In circumstances in which there are potential benefits and risks, yet the procedure is not essential to the child's current well-being, parents should determine what is in the best interest of the child. To make an informed choice, parents of all male infants should be given accurate and unbiased information and be provided the opportunity to discuss this decision. If a decision for circumcision is made, procedural analgesia should be provided. " In this, note that the AAP is #1leaving the decision to the parents. They are also saying that there ARE potential medical benefits, just not enough at this time to demand and require all boys be circumcised.
Circumcision is the removing of the foreskin. It's a tiny piece of skin that is approx 1/2" at the tip of the penis. Removing this, changes the look of the penis as well as the feeling and sensitivity to various degrees.
In Jewish culture, the circumcision symbolizes the entrance of a male child into the traditional covenant with God. It is performed on the eighth day after birth and the child is often held by his godfather during the procedure. Most Jews still practice this today and it is a very celebrated part of their religion and culture. It is often celebrated with a Bris Milah. Bris means 'covenant' and Milah means 'to cut'. It symbolizes the covenant made between God and the Jews. During the Bris Milah, family is often celebrated. The baby is often passed around to various people who are being honored, at some point during the ceremony. Also during this ceremony, the baby is given his Hebrew name. This is a very important part of the Bris and is often accompanied by much emotion. In Christendom, a Bris would be similar to what we would do as a baptism, christoning or baby dedication. It is held with the same honor, respect and importance. A Bris is also done by a Mohel who is trained in ritual circumcisions. The ceremony is normally performed in the home of the family or at the synogogue or temple.
Many Christians view the circumcision in much the same way as the Jews. There is a movement in Christianity that believes that since God told Abraham to cut off the foreskin of Isaac, that there must be significant reasons and meanings to do so. They also feel that when Jesus came to earth, we all inherited the same covenental rights that the Jews had, and as part of that covenant, we too should circumcise as a sign. There is some controversy around this because the New Testament does say that "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, circumcised nor uncircumcised; for all are one in Christ". This verse (and others) have been interpreted in many various ways, but many feel that it is saying that we all have to come to Christ in the same manor, Jew or Gentile".
Most in today's society have no clue what circumcision is or does. They trust the word and knowledge of their doctor and so if he says do it, they do it. I am not here to say whether one should have it done or not. I'm not on the bandwagon of having made illegal or banning it completely. I'm one to educate the reader and my clients on the process and let them decide for themselves. Just as I would never demand one have a homebirth over a hospital birth, have an episiotomy or not, etc etc, I would never force my views of circumcision on a mother or my client either. (FTR, I have 3 sons and they are all circumcised, including my youngest, who at the time of this writing is only 15 days old and has his circumcision done yesterday).
In choosing to circumcise or not circumcise, one must really face all the issues at hand and be sure to do the proper education and reading. What most people don't know is that most hospitals will accomodate your wishes when performing this procedure. It is normally not done in a sterile room and takes approx 10-15 minutes for the entire thing. My first son was born in a large hospital here in Michigan. When it was time for his circumcision, my husband asked if he could accompany him to the room and was he was allowed to. During the procedure, he stood right next to our son, holding his little hand. Our second son was born at home and therefore it was incredibly hard to find a doctor who would perform the circumcision. What I found was that pediatricians wouldn't accept him cause he wasn't there patient. OBGYNs wouldn't take him because "I" wasn't there patient. I was told to call a Urologist, who told me they don't do them and to call a Pediatric Urologist, who told me they don't do them until the child is 2 years old and then they put them completely under to perform it. I was beside myself about it so talked to my midwife who told me to check into mohels. I called a couple and found one who was also a pediatrician with his own practice. I felt very comfortable with that and so we proceeded. His circumcision was done at a local temple, even though we are Christians and not Jewish.
Our 3rd son was born on January 9th, 2007 at home. We contacted the mohel who had done our last son and he said he would do this one too. We ran into some snags and ended up cancelling with him. I contacted several other local mohels and 'interviewed' two of them on the phone and went with the one we chose, and as stated earlier, it was performed yesterday. We decided to make it a bit more 'ceremonial', although we couldn't offer our own prayers or blessings since it too was done in the temple, but my husbands two best friends accompanied him and Jacob. It was actually a very special time for all of them (something we as females and moms will probably never understand).
So, this whole blog has been written to get to this-if you are going to have a son and are caught in the middle as to what to do, sit on neutral ground and ask questions. One thing I've found is that if you visit message boards and ask questions, you will get a few who are very adamently against circumcision and they will rule the conversation. You will get very little in unbiased information or answers. Steer clear of those. ;)
Things to know & ask your doctor or mohel:
1. How many circumcisions have they done?
You do NOT want someone operating on your young sons penis as his first circumcision. The mohel that did our son yesterday has done over 12000. The mohel who did our second son had done about 300. We were confident in that. The doctor (done in the hospital) who did our first son had done approximately 500. At the time, we thought that was a great number and were confident in that. While I still am confident in that number, the 1200 is much more reassuring to me.
2. What procedure do they use?
There are 3 various procedures that are used during a circumcision. The gomco clamp is what most doctors tend to use. Most of them feel that it gives a better appearance and is easier to use. It involves stretching the foreskin over a belllike applying pressure and then the removal of the clamp and device. It takes approximately 3 1/2 minutes to complete.
The mogen clamp is most widely used in Bris Milah. It is said to be more effective, less painful and more precise. Research says that babies cry less during this procedure, have higher oxygen levels and less increase in heart rate. The procedure takes approximately 90 seconds with the mogen clamp. There is no bell shaped part of this clamp so it involves the mohel/doctor situating the clamp and closing it to complete the procedure.
The plastibell is another method used. In this procedure, the foreskin is lifted and a plastic ring is inserted. After five to eight days, the bell and dead foreskin tissue detach. In this method, there is very little extra care that needs to be done afterwards as there is no dressing to change and no stitches.
3. What is offered for pain control during the procedure?
This is one place I'm a stickler. DEMAND that your doctor or mohel offer pain management during the procedure. Some doctors will use only a topical anistetic, which in my opinion, is not enough. There are two different methods used for numbing the area through local aniesthesia. The first is to inject right into the shaft of the penis. This will cause numbness and pain relief for several hours. Most mohels will not use this method however. They believe that if you inject the anesthesia just into the foreskin, that it will create a less stressful 'recovery period' for the baby. Think about when you go to the dentist for a filling or root canal. For the next several hours, your face is tingly and then, as the numbness wares off, you get that itchy, annoying feeling. With a local anesthesia to the shaft of the penis, this is what many feel happens to the baby. For the next few hours, there is that nagging feeling as the numbness subsides. Regardless of that type of pain relief used, demand something. Some doctors still have the mistaken belief that babies don't really feel any pain during the procedure and that they are only crying cause they are strapped down. Take it from a mom of three....they are mistaken!
Just as with any other pain, Tylenol is often used, and should be used, if baby is acting distressed in any ways.
In closing, if you are giving birth to a baby boy, it is up to you, the parents, to make the right decision of what is best for your family and your child. Weigh the options, ask the questions and do the research. Don't be bullied into a choice, whether for or against, but do what you feel is best. The choice is yours...
*** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of her work. Kelly Milano, can be reached at: kmilano@gmail.com Please provide a link to her work on your site.
Do not publish without permission of the author.
2007
Circumcision is the removing of the foreskin. It's a tiny piece of skin that is approx 1/2" at the tip of the penis. Removing this, changes the look of the penis as well as the feeling and sensitivity to various degrees.
In Jewish culture, the circumcision symbolizes the entrance of a male child into the traditional covenant with God. It is performed on the eighth day after birth and the child is often held by his godfather during the procedure. Most Jews still practice this today and it is a very celebrated part of their religion and culture. It is often celebrated with a Bris Milah. Bris means 'covenant' and Milah means 'to cut'. It symbolizes the covenant made between God and the Jews. During the Bris Milah, family is often celebrated. The baby is often passed around to various people who are being honored, at some point during the ceremony. Also during this ceremony, the baby is given his Hebrew name. This is a very important part of the Bris and is often accompanied by much emotion. In Christendom, a Bris would be similar to what we would do as a baptism, christoning or baby dedication. It is held with the same honor, respect and importance. A Bris is also done by a Mohel who is trained in ritual circumcisions. The ceremony is normally performed in the home of the family or at the synogogue or temple.
Many Christians view the circumcision in much the same way as the Jews. There is a movement in Christianity that believes that since God told Abraham to cut off the foreskin of Isaac, that there must be significant reasons and meanings to do so. They also feel that when Jesus came to earth, we all inherited the same covenental rights that the Jews had, and as part of that covenant, we too should circumcise as a sign. There is some controversy around this because the New Testament does say that "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, circumcised nor uncircumcised; for all are one in Christ". This verse (and others) have been interpreted in many various ways, but many feel that it is saying that we all have to come to Christ in the same manor, Jew or Gentile".
Most in today's society have no clue what circumcision is or does. They trust the word and knowledge of their doctor and so if he says do it, they do it. I am not here to say whether one should have it done or not. I'm not on the bandwagon of having made illegal or banning it completely. I'm one to educate the reader and my clients on the process and let them decide for themselves. Just as I would never demand one have a homebirth over a hospital birth, have an episiotomy or not, etc etc, I would never force my views of circumcision on a mother or my client either. (FTR, I have 3 sons and they are all circumcised, including my youngest, who at the time of this writing is only 15 days old and has his circumcision done yesterday).
In choosing to circumcise or not circumcise, one must really face all the issues at hand and be sure to do the proper education and reading. What most people don't know is that most hospitals will accomodate your wishes when performing this procedure. It is normally not done in a sterile room and takes approx 10-15 minutes for the entire thing. My first son was born in a large hospital here in Michigan. When it was time for his circumcision, my husband asked if he could accompany him to the room and was he was allowed to. During the procedure, he stood right next to our son, holding his little hand. Our second son was born at home and therefore it was incredibly hard to find a doctor who would perform the circumcision. What I found was that pediatricians wouldn't accept him cause he wasn't there patient. OBGYNs wouldn't take him because "I" wasn't there patient. I was told to call a Urologist, who told me they don't do them and to call a Pediatric Urologist, who told me they don't do them until the child is 2 years old and then they put them completely under to perform it. I was beside myself about it so talked to my midwife who told me to check into mohels. I called a couple and found one who was also a pediatrician with his own practice. I felt very comfortable with that and so we proceeded. His circumcision was done at a local temple, even though we are Christians and not Jewish.
Our 3rd son was born on January 9th, 2007 at home. We contacted the mohel who had done our last son and he said he would do this one too. We ran into some snags and ended up cancelling with him. I contacted several other local mohels and 'interviewed' two of them on the phone and went with the one we chose, and as stated earlier, it was performed yesterday. We decided to make it a bit more 'ceremonial', although we couldn't offer our own prayers or blessings since it too was done in the temple, but my husbands two best friends accompanied him and Jacob. It was actually a very special time for all of them (something we as females and moms will probably never understand).
So, this whole blog has been written to get to this-if you are going to have a son and are caught in the middle as to what to do, sit on neutral ground and ask questions. One thing I've found is that if you visit message boards and ask questions, you will get a few who are very adamently against circumcision and they will rule the conversation. You will get very little in unbiased information or answers. Steer clear of those. ;)
Things to know & ask your doctor or mohel:
1. How many circumcisions have they done?
You do NOT want someone operating on your young sons penis as his first circumcision. The mohel that did our son yesterday has done over 12000. The mohel who did our second son had done about 300. We were confident in that. The doctor (done in the hospital) who did our first son had done approximately 500. At the time, we thought that was a great number and were confident in that. While I still am confident in that number, the 1200 is much more reassuring to me.
2. What procedure do they use?
There are 3 various procedures that are used during a circumcision. The gomco clamp is what most doctors tend to use. Most of them feel that it gives a better appearance and is easier to use. It involves stretching the foreskin over a belllike applying pressure and then the removal of the clamp and device. It takes approximately 3 1/2 minutes to complete.
The mogen clamp is most widely used in Bris Milah. It is said to be more effective, less painful and more precise. Research says that babies cry less during this procedure, have higher oxygen levels and less increase in heart rate. The procedure takes approximately 90 seconds with the mogen clamp. There is no bell shaped part of this clamp so it involves the mohel/doctor situating the clamp and closing it to complete the procedure.
The plastibell is another method used. In this procedure, the foreskin is lifted and a plastic ring is inserted. After five to eight days, the bell and dead foreskin tissue detach. In this method, there is very little extra care that needs to be done afterwards as there is no dressing to change and no stitches.
3. What is offered for pain control during the procedure?
This is one place I'm a stickler. DEMAND that your doctor or mohel offer pain management during the procedure. Some doctors will use only a topical anistetic, which in my opinion, is not enough. There are two different methods used for numbing the area through local aniesthesia. The first is to inject right into the shaft of the penis. This will cause numbness and pain relief for several hours. Most mohels will not use this method however. They believe that if you inject the anesthesia just into the foreskin, that it will create a less stressful 'recovery period' for the baby. Think about when you go to the dentist for a filling or root canal. For the next several hours, your face is tingly and then, as the numbness wares off, you get that itchy, annoying feeling. With a local anesthesia to the shaft of the penis, this is what many feel happens to the baby. For the next few hours, there is that nagging feeling as the numbness subsides. Regardless of that type of pain relief used, demand something. Some doctors still have the mistaken belief that babies don't really feel any pain during the procedure and that they are only crying cause they are strapped down. Take it from a mom of three....they are mistaken!
Just as with any other pain, Tylenol is often used, and should be used, if baby is acting distressed in any ways.
In closing, if you are giving birth to a baby boy, it is up to you, the parents, to make the right decision of what is best for your family and your child. Weigh the options, ask the questions and do the research. Don't be bullied into a choice, whether for or against, but do what you feel is best. The choice is yours...
*** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of her work. Kelly Milano, can be reached at: kmilano@gmail.com Please provide a link to her work on your site.
Do not publish without permission of the author.
2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Ways to help a new mom
With having this baby, several women in my church have offered to bring us over dinner so I didn't have to cook. While this seems like a nice thought, I've learned quite a bit from it. In the future, when other women in our church, neighborhood or social circle have a baby, I'm going to head up the group who is bringing dinners over. I'm going to oversee all the volunteers and help them understand from what I've learned, what their role is. Here's what I've learned. I hope this can help someone in the future who may be taking a new mom dinner.
1. Find out if the family has any allergies or food aversions. If the family is vegetarian and you bring over Chicken Cattitore, it's just going to get thrown away and family is now going to have to frantically find something for dinner once you've left. If there are peanut allergies and you bring over peanut butter brownies, when you leave, all hell is going to break loose in the household and a trip to the ER may be needed. This is NOT helping this new mom or this family and is causing more stress.
2. Find out what time the family normally eats and do your best to have dinner there by that time. When the family has young kids and they are used to eating at 5:30 and you call at 6 and say you will be there around 7, only to then call at 7 and sa you are just leaving and it will be 30 minutes, this is NOT helpful to the mom who has to try to come up with snacks to keep the kids from getting cranky, but small enough to not ruin their appetite. Hungry kids make for a ROUGH night.
3. If you don't have time to make a meal because you are working later than the family eats, DO NOT VOLUNTEER.
4. Ask the family is something like Boston Market or KFC is good if you want to volunteer but know you are limited on time. Many families appreciate this type of mood just as much as something home cooked. As long as mom doesn't have to cook, just about any of it is appreciated!
5. Try your hardest to bring a complete meal. If you know that you are bringing something like enchiladas, make sure to bring the sour cream and fixings that the family may not have. Don't count of a new mom to have a fully stocked fridge. Also, try to make the meal as full as possible. Bread, side dish and a salad are great additions to a lasagna. A dessert of some sort is a nice addition as well.
6. Once you are at the families house, go to the kitchen and help prepare the meal. If it isn't prepared yet, preheat the oven so you can put it in. While it is preheating is a decent time to visit with mom and the new baby. If the meal is prepared already, ask mom if you can help set the table or get the kids fed.
7. Do NOT overstay your welcome. Most of the time, 10-15 minutes is all you need to stay to visit. Do not plan on eating with the family or staying for an hour and holding the new baby. Be courteous of the families time, especially in the early days or on the first days where dad has gone back to work and may want to come home and spend time with his new baby.
8. If you DO have a desire to stay a bit longer, ask the mom if there is anything you can do before you leave. Offer to help with vacuuming, throw in some laundry, etc. If you are a close family friend or relative, you can even offer to help bathe the kids. This can be much appreciated by a frazzled new mom. If the answer is a no and that she has it all under control, then take that as a sign to leave the house and let the family enjoy their meal.
9. Make sure all your pans and bowls are labeled if you didn't buy the cheap pans from the store just for this occassion.
10. And ALWAYS knock. Even if you are a close family friend, make sure to knock and then WAIT for someone to open the door. A new mom doesn't necessarily like that her door is revolving and wants a bit of privacy.
There is another blog that goes well with this one and is a MUST READ for all non-pregnant people. Take Notice #9 & 10 Journey to Homebirth: Dear Non-Pregnant Person
*** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of her work. Kelly Milano, can be reached at: kmilano@gmail.com Please provide a link to her work on your site. Do not publish without permission of the author.
1. Find out if the family has any allergies or food aversions. If the family is vegetarian and you bring over Chicken Cattitore, it's just going to get thrown away and family is now going to have to frantically find something for dinner once you've left. If there are peanut allergies and you bring over peanut butter brownies, when you leave, all hell is going to break loose in the household and a trip to the ER may be needed. This is NOT helping this new mom or this family and is causing more stress.
2. Find out what time the family normally eats and do your best to have dinner there by that time. When the family has young kids and they are used to eating at 5:30 and you call at 6 and say you will be there around 7, only to then call at 7 and sa you are just leaving and it will be 30 minutes, this is NOT helpful to the mom who has to try to come up with snacks to keep the kids from getting cranky, but small enough to not ruin their appetite. Hungry kids make for a ROUGH night.
3. If you don't have time to make a meal because you are working later than the family eats, DO NOT VOLUNTEER.
4. Ask the family is something like Boston Market or KFC is good if you want to volunteer but know you are limited on time. Many families appreciate this type of mood just as much as something home cooked. As long as mom doesn't have to cook, just about any of it is appreciated!
5. Try your hardest to bring a complete meal. If you know that you are bringing something like enchiladas, make sure to bring the sour cream and fixings that the family may not have. Don't count of a new mom to have a fully stocked fridge. Also, try to make the meal as full as possible. Bread, side dish and a salad are great additions to a lasagna. A dessert of some sort is a nice addition as well.
6. Once you are at the families house, go to the kitchen and help prepare the meal. If it isn't prepared yet, preheat the oven so you can put it in. While it is preheating is a decent time to visit with mom and the new baby. If the meal is prepared already, ask mom if you can help set the table or get the kids fed.
7. Do NOT overstay your welcome. Most of the time, 10-15 minutes is all you need to stay to visit. Do not plan on eating with the family or staying for an hour and holding the new baby. Be courteous of the families time, especially in the early days or on the first days where dad has gone back to work and may want to come home and spend time with his new baby.
8. If you DO have a desire to stay a bit longer, ask the mom if there is anything you can do before you leave. Offer to help with vacuuming, throw in some laundry, etc. If you are a close family friend or relative, you can even offer to help bathe the kids. This can be much appreciated by a frazzled new mom. If the answer is a no and that she has it all under control, then take that as a sign to leave the house and let the family enjoy their meal.
9. Make sure all your pans and bowls are labeled if you didn't buy the cheap pans from the store just for this occassion.
10. And ALWAYS knock. Even if you are a close family friend, make sure to knock and then WAIT for someone to open the door. A new mom doesn't necessarily like that her door is revolving and wants a bit of privacy.
There is another blog that goes well with this one and is a MUST READ for all non-pregnant people. Take Notice #9 & 10 Journey to Homebirth: Dear Non-Pregnant Person
*** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of her work. Kelly Milano, can be reached at: kmilano@gmail.com Please provide a link to her work on your site. Do not publish without permission of the author.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
We have a baby!
Ok, I have a few minutes so am going to type this out really quick. I'm not exactly sure of all these times as things got REALLY crazy really fast last night.
On Monday morning I had some pink tinged mucus a couple different times. I told Tim that this stinker was going to be born on his due date and sure enough, he was. At dinnertime I had the other half of my fresh pineapple and then at 11:30pm, I told DH we needed to "force this baby out". About midnight I started contracting so bad. I'd never had them come on like that so wasn't even sure they were real and didn't want to get my hopes up. I told Tim we probably needed to get the hose from the garage and have it set up just in case, but then decided to time a few first. The contrax were about 3 1/2 minutes apart and 48-60 seconds long. He calls our best friends and tells them and says that this is going to be fast and if they don't get here quick, they'll probably miss it. I call my midwife and said "So, feel like delivering a baby tonight?" I was so calm that at first she thought I was joking. I told her I wasn't sure it was real since my water hadn't broken and it always broke to start my labor and maybe I would just call her back in a few minutes. She said no, she'd come out just to be safe. Later she told me that I sounded like her when she called her midwife 4 months ago saying she thought she was in labor. I was still very calm, but little did anyone know, I was panicing on the inside. lol
We had so much to do that I didn't have the ability to sit at all and work through the contractions. Tim was filling the tub and I said "I have to get in there NOW". When I got in, the water was a bit cold. We had drained the tank and it heats from the top so the water that was coming out the bottom spout was freezing cold. I told him he needed to start boiling some water, but we both knew there was no time. Ryan & Karen got here and Ryan & Tim started filling pots of hot water from the bathtub and dumping them in the tub. I was getting so uncomfortable and told Tim that I could feel the 'ring of fire' and to call the midwife and tell her she had less than 10 minutes. She said that she was 10 minutes away and it would be good timing. Well, suddenly I said that I could feel the head. I let out a few moans with the pushing and out came the head, followed closely by the shoulders. By the time the midwife got here, I was holding my new baby boy in my arms. Jacob was born at 1:00 on the dot, almost exactly 1 hour after the first contractions. It was about 15 minutes before the placenta delivered and another 15 before we got out of the tub. It all happened so fast that my body was shaking a bit. I didn't lose much blood at all, but my body was in such shock. Just before I actually delivered the baby, Tim asked if I wanted him to go get the kids. I didn't want them in there for some reason (up until that point I did), but they came in right after he was born. A few minutes later, Jacob opened his eyes and was just looking around at everyone. He loved just starting at Mikayla and Katelyn. He was so intent on watching them.
I had a small tear cause of how quick it all happened so we had to repair that but otherwise everything was truly amazing. Jacob latched on and nursed like a champ right away. My mom and dad had come down too (got here 15 minutes after he was born and thought Tim was joking when he called them and said that the baby was here already). Everyone was gone by about 3:30am and Tim and I finished getting things cleaned up a bit before we headed to bed. Jacob didn't want to sleep at first. At 4:30, he finally fell asleep and it's 10 and he's just now waking up!!! He is the most amazingly calm baby I've seen. During his checks where they are pulling on his legs, rubbing fingers down his spine, tickling his feet, he just laid there without making a sound. So amazing.
STATS:Jacob Alexander Milano
January 9th, 2007
1:00am
8lb 2oz
22" long
I do NOT wish a 1 hour labor on anyone. While it might sound incredible, it was incredibly painful. There was no time to get used to the contractions; they just HIT.
http://s143. photobucket. com/albums/ r129/BabyJacobM/ Here's some pics.
On Monday morning I had some pink tinged mucus a couple different times. I told Tim that this stinker was going to be born on his due date and sure enough, he was. At dinnertime I had the other half of my fresh pineapple and then at 11:30pm, I told DH we needed to "force this baby out". About midnight I started contracting so bad. I'd never had them come on like that so wasn't even sure they were real and didn't want to get my hopes up. I told Tim we probably needed to get the hose from the garage and have it set up just in case, but then decided to time a few first. The contrax were about 3 1/2 minutes apart and 48-60 seconds long. He calls our best friends and tells them and says that this is going to be fast and if they don't get here quick, they'll probably miss it. I call my midwife and said "So, feel like delivering a baby tonight?" I was so calm that at first she thought I was joking. I told her I wasn't sure it was real since my water hadn't broken and it always broke to start my labor and maybe I would just call her back in a few minutes. She said no, she'd come out just to be safe. Later she told me that I sounded like her when she called her midwife 4 months ago saying she thought she was in labor. I was still very calm, but little did anyone know, I was panicing on the inside. lol
We had so much to do that I didn't have the ability to sit at all and work through the contractions. Tim was filling the tub and I said "I have to get in there NOW". When I got in, the water was a bit cold. We had drained the tank and it heats from the top so the water that was coming out the bottom spout was freezing cold. I told him he needed to start boiling some water, but we both knew there was no time. Ryan & Karen got here and Ryan & Tim started filling pots of hot water from the bathtub and dumping them in the tub. I was getting so uncomfortable and told Tim that I could feel the 'ring of fire' and to call the midwife and tell her she had less than 10 minutes. She said that she was 10 minutes away and it would be good timing. Well, suddenly I said that I could feel the head. I let out a few moans with the pushing and out came the head, followed closely by the shoulders. By the time the midwife got here, I was holding my new baby boy in my arms. Jacob was born at 1:00 on the dot, almost exactly 1 hour after the first contractions. It was about 15 minutes before the placenta delivered and another 15 before we got out of the tub. It all happened so fast that my body was shaking a bit. I didn't lose much blood at all, but my body was in such shock. Just before I actually delivered the baby, Tim asked if I wanted him to go get the kids. I didn't want them in there for some reason (up until that point I did), but they came in right after he was born. A few minutes later, Jacob opened his eyes and was just looking around at everyone. He loved just starting at Mikayla and Katelyn. He was so intent on watching them.
I had a small tear cause of how quick it all happened so we had to repair that but otherwise everything was truly amazing. Jacob latched on and nursed like a champ right away. My mom and dad had come down too (got here 15 minutes after he was born and thought Tim was joking when he called them and said that the baby was here already). Everyone was gone by about 3:30am and Tim and I finished getting things cleaned up a bit before we headed to bed. Jacob didn't want to sleep at first. At 4:30, he finally fell asleep and it's 10 and he's just now waking up!!! He is the most amazingly calm baby I've seen. During his checks where they are pulling on his legs, rubbing fingers down his spine, tickling his feet, he just laid there without making a sound. So amazing.
STATS:Jacob Alexander Milano
January 9th, 2007
1:00am
8lb 2oz
22" long
I do NOT wish a 1 hour labor on anyone. While it might sound incredible, it was incredibly painful. There was no time to get used to the contractions; they just HIT.
http://s143. photobucket. com/albums/ r129/BabyJacobM/ Here's some pics.
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Vagina, Vagina, Vagina
There! I said it! I absolutely HATE that word and don't know why. I think it has to do with my conservative, Baptist upbringing in a home where anything remotely sexual was not discussed. I don't have a problem with teaching my boys that they have a penis, but for some reason, teaching my girls that they had a vagina was so much tougher. For the first several years, we just never talked about it. I never called it ANY name and they never asked. One day about 6 months to a year ago, I hear the girls in the bathtub and I hear them talking about washing their 'flower'. I asked them what they were talking about and they pointed to their vagina and vulva. I asked them where they heard this was a 'flower' and they said it was from my mother in law while they were at her house that weekend before. She had been giving them their baths and told them to wash their arms, their tummies, their bottoms, their 'flower'. I was flabbergasted!! This is NOT a flower. Flowers grow outside in the dirt. The smell and look pretty for a bit, then they DIE. That is NOT what my girls have. They have VAGINAS! I talked to them about what a flower was and what their vagina was.
I never had this same problem teaching my sons that they had a penis however. I remember not long after Seth was born, we were in church and our pastor was preaching about marraige and family or something and I remember as clear as day him saying something about how families tend to make these things an embarrassement and encouraged all of us as parents to not say "ookie bookie wookie" instead of penis. Yes, he said 'ookie bookie wookie'. We still laugh about this usage of 'words'. It was at that day that it all made sense I decided to start calling body parts what they were. My friend went so far that when her boys would come into the bathroom when they were little and ask what she was doing, she'd say she was peeing. They said "Where's your penis?" and she responded with "Girls don't have a penis. We have a vulva."
I had been married for several years and my DH was having to teach me about my own body and how things worked because I had no clue. I had no clue about 'clitoris' or any of that and I don't want my girls not knowing. I want them to know it's safe to talk to me about these things and not something to be embarrassed of. I rememeber when I was about 16 or 17, my boyfriend and I would be making out and I'd feel all funny 'down there'. I remember sitting up on the bathroom counter looking at my swollen lips and vagina, wondering what was going on. It was intriguing to me, but there was no one I could ask about the hows or whys. I was embarrassed about it. Why? Because my parents had MADE me embarrassed about such things, imo. They taught me I had eyes, nose, mouth, arms, hands, feet, legs and 'bottom'. To me, my vagina was taboo and something to be embarrassed about. Something to keep completely secretive and never discuss. Imagine the first time I went to the OB for a PAP. I hear the doctor using words like clitoris, vagina, etc and could feel my face turning a million shades of red. I obviously knew what she was talking about, but to have it be so OPENLY talked about was not something I was used to. My husband still laughs at me as I'll refer to my vagina as my 'hoohoo' but it's not something I EVER say to my daughters. I want them to grow up without the embarrassment of their female parts. I want them to be as proud of their vagina as a man is of his penis! (And we all know that THAT is pride!!!) Men's lives seem to often revolve around their penis. LOL
Do you remember when Kindergarten Cop came out? Remember the scene where the little boy raises his hand and says "Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina." You could hear the gasps of all the moms and dads in the room. This is NOT something that was openly discussed, even in 1990. (WOW! Can you believe it's been 17 years since 1990???) This little boy knew something that so many little girls didn't. They were taught they had 'flowers' or 'bottom'. (The same is true about their breasts. We tell them they have 'buttons' instead of nipples or breasts. ) And most of the nicknames for a vagina are quite absurd or offensive. Why do we allow this? Why do we allow words like 'beaver' or 'cunt' in refering to our parts? Look at this horrible list of names!!! http://www.blap.com/joke.php?query=188
We need to make sure our daughters are being taught to be be proud of who they are, how they were created and what parts they possess.
*** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of her work. Kelly Milano, can be reached at: kmilano@gmail.com Please provide a link to her work on your site.Do not publish without permission of the author.
I never had this same problem teaching my sons that they had a penis however. I remember not long after Seth was born, we were in church and our pastor was preaching about marraige and family or something and I remember as clear as day him saying something about how families tend to make these things an embarrassement and encouraged all of us as parents to not say "ookie bookie wookie" instead of penis. Yes, he said 'ookie bookie wookie'. We still laugh about this usage of 'words'. It was at that day that it all made sense I decided to start calling body parts what they were. My friend went so far that when her boys would come into the bathroom when they were little and ask what she was doing, she'd say she was peeing. They said "Where's your penis?" and she responded with "Girls don't have a penis. We have a vulva."
I had been married for several years and my DH was having to teach me about my own body and how things worked because I had no clue. I had no clue about 'clitoris' or any of that and I don't want my girls not knowing. I want them to know it's safe to talk to me about these things and not something to be embarrassed of. I rememeber when I was about 16 or 17, my boyfriend and I would be making out and I'd feel all funny 'down there'. I remember sitting up on the bathroom counter looking at my swollen lips and vagina, wondering what was going on. It was intriguing to me, but there was no one I could ask about the hows or whys. I was embarrassed about it. Why? Because my parents had MADE me embarrassed about such things, imo. They taught me I had eyes, nose, mouth, arms, hands, feet, legs and 'bottom'. To me, my vagina was taboo and something to be embarrassed about. Something to keep completely secretive and never discuss. Imagine the first time I went to the OB for a PAP. I hear the doctor using words like clitoris, vagina, etc and could feel my face turning a million shades of red. I obviously knew what she was talking about, but to have it be so OPENLY talked about was not something I was used to. My husband still laughs at me as I'll refer to my vagina as my 'hoohoo' but it's not something I EVER say to my daughters. I want them to grow up without the embarrassment of their female parts. I want them to be as proud of their vagina as a man is of his penis! (And we all know that THAT is pride!!!) Men's lives seem to often revolve around their penis. LOL
Do you remember when Kindergarten Cop came out? Remember the scene where the little boy raises his hand and says "Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina." You could hear the gasps of all the moms and dads in the room. This is NOT something that was openly discussed, even in 1990. (WOW! Can you believe it's been 17 years since 1990???) This little boy knew something that so many little girls didn't. They were taught they had 'flowers' or 'bottom'. (The same is true about their breasts. We tell them they have 'buttons' instead of nipples or breasts. ) And most of the nicknames for a vagina are quite absurd or offensive. Why do we allow this? Why do we allow words like 'beaver' or 'cunt' in refering to our parts? Look at this horrible list of names!!! http://www.blap.com/joke.php?query=188
We need to make sure our daughters are being taught to be be proud of who they are, how they were created and what parts they possess.
*** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of her work. Kelly Milano, can be reached at: kmilano@gmail.com Please provide a link to her work on your site.Do not publish without permission of the author.
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
To Every Non-Pregnant Person
I personally think this should be sent to every MIL, every meddling relative and every 'best friend'.
Dear Non-Pregnant Person,
I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.
1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an a$$.
2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby".
3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in #2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.
4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.
5) Likewise, no women wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".
6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.
7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.
8) Like everything else is life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.
9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.
10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.
Dear Non-Pregnant Person,
I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice.
1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an a$$.
2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby".
3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in #2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.
4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.
5) Likewise, no women wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!".
6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.
7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.
8) Like everything else is life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.
9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.
10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.
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