Dream Birth-Creating the Birth You Want

You’ve heard the stories…Morning Sickness. Non stop pain. Cramping. Screaming. Women writhing in pain. Their body being torn open. Thirfy five hours of labor followed by six hours of pushing, all to end up having a c-section or pushing a 10lb baby out your ‘hoohoo’. You’ve decided that from the moment you find out you are pregnant, you are going to have every intervention known to man! You’ll have the ultrasound and the blood tests. You’ll have a 2nd ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby. You arrive at the hospital already planning to have the epidural, but to look good to your peers you tell everyone you are going to ‘try’ to go natural. Truth is, you’ve already talked to the midwife and doctor, and the epidural and Demerol are already on standby. We’ve heard and used the line “Nature needs no help, just no interference” but when it comes to pregnancy and birth, we throw this concept out the window.

In this scenario, there are loud noises all around you. Beeping, buzzing and ringing surround you. People are in and out of your room, removing the sheet that is covering your elevated legs so they can do a check to make sure you are ‘progressing’. The lights are bright and the bed is uncomfortable. You are allowed to move around the hallways, but only for a limited amount of time, and only until they decide it’s time for the epidural. In a few more minutes, they will need to check your progress again. You’ve now made it-the 10cm required to begin pushing! You feel a sense of accomplishment at having made it to this point (epidural or not) and now are told that it’s time to start pushing. “Deep breath! Bear down! 1-2-3-4…10. And another big breath. AGAIN!” It doesn’t matter that you’ve body isn’t telling you to push. You are at 10cm and now you MUST push! The doctor who you worked so closely with during your pregnancy and who you prayed would be on call the night you went into labor, races in and spends the last 15 minutes of your pushing with you, just in time to catch the baby. The baby is laid on your stomach for a little over a minute, just long enough to cut the cord that is attaching the baby to your body. The placenta hasn’t birthed yet, but that’s ok. This baby has got to be cut from your body now that it’s outside of you! There is no more need for it to remain attached. Within a matter of minutes the baby is taken to the other side of the room where it is cleaned up, its nose suctioned. She is weighed and measured. You hear the baby crying and they tell you this is a good thing and that the baby has ‘a great set of lungs’. Truth is, this small baby is terrified and screaming for you, her mother.

But there’s a better way! This is not the way that birth should be, especially for those of us who believe that the body is fully capable of knowing what to do. Imagine a birth in which you, the mom, are in complete control. The room is dim, the smell of candles or incense burning from the corner. Your significant other is next to you and in these moments, it’s only the two of you. Your midwife might be in the room, but you are oblivious to her because you are totally connected to your body. You are immersed in warm water, your body floating up and down with each contraction. There is no tension in your body. You are relaxed, allowing your body to work with each contraction. The contractions grow closer together, more intense, each one coming right after the next, but you aren’t fighting them but instead, working with them. You are free to make any sort of noises you need to because you are in your own home, allowed to express yourself in your own way because it’s a familiar place to you. It’s a place you feel at peace. It’s a place you’ve created for the birth of your child. It’s the place you have created for this very moment! After a few hours of labor, you start to feel a pressure that is indescribable. You tell your midwife that it’s time and she comes to your side. In the next few minutes, the baby will slowly pass out between your open legs and into the water and your waiting hands. You may even find yourself having a powerful orgasm during this time in which your body is allowed to operate in wholeness and perfection. You slowly pull the baby up out of the water and to your chest. Immediately the baby looks up at you! There is an instant connection between the two of you as you gently wipe the vernix off of her head and await the placenta to deliver. The baby is still attached and is reaping the benefits of the most amazing blood that it will ever receive. The blood in the cord is essential to the baby and as it pulses, it contracts every last drop into this new baby. When you are ready, you hand the small baby to the midwife for her weight and measurement. Baby appears so relaxed and at peace. No screaming, no flailing. Just perfect peace in this moment. This is the way birth can be!

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Homebirth Doll

I'm a homebirther and I love teaching my kids what the body is capable of doing. I love educating women about how their body can and will work, given the right conditions. But I have to admit that this doll is a bit much. What do you think??

Poem: From Birth to Womanhood

I came across this poem today. It is on a site for abused women and children. I pray that we are women who portray more to our daughters than this sort of worthlessness and meaninglessness.

From birth to womanhood
All I’ve known is the hard side of life. But never did I take my eye off the finer side of life.

From birth to womanhood
I’ve been made to feel like my existence on earth is meaningless. Not much love was ever poured out to me.

From birth to womanhood
I was programmed to feel that, no matter what I did in life, I was nothing. So I feel as if “I am nothing.”

From birth to womanhood
Learning to love myself in an uncaring world has been very hard for me to achieve. When you truly don’t love the person looking back at you in the mirror, who can truly love you?

From birth to womanhood
Now that womanhood has surrounded my inner being, I’m learning slowly to love and respect me. And trying to change the negative being that entered into my mind, body and soul.

From birth to womanhood
One day, I rise-up a changed woman, at peace with myself, the world and my creator, God almighty.

From birth to my real womanhood.

- Teresa H.

JodiBear's Homebirth Story

(Posted with permission)Congrats on a great homebirth Momma!!


He was born at home on 1-13-09, weighing in at 9lbs. 2oz. and 21 1/4" long :) It was definitely one of the most amazing and precious experiences of my life.

Early the Saturday morning prior, I got up early and decided to take a shower, but just before I stepped in I felt a "pop" and felt a small gush... my water broke. I woke my husband and took a shower and waited for labor to begin... and waited. I called my midwife, Liz O'Shea, and she told me to call her back when contractions were about 10 minutes apart. So, we waited. I wasn't leaking any amniotic fluid since the initial gush, so I began to wonder what was going on and questioning whether or not my water had actually broken. Sunday morning arrived and still no labor. So, that afternoon Liz & her assistant arrived and we attempted to get labor started naturally. I had taken castor oil the night before but no labor. We used blue and black cohosh, and i kept moving. Although I had mild and regular contractions for a while, dilation stopped at 3cm. That evening Liz told us we had to decide what our next step would be since we were approaching 48 hrs. and no labor. However, I still had not leaked any amniotic fluid and the test Liz did was negative. We decided the next morning we would go to the hospital and have them check to see if my water had in deed ruptured and that baby was doing okay, and go from there. I was terrified of possibly facing a hospital induction. Our trip to the hospital luckily turned out to be a huge relief. They found no amniotic fluid and baby was fine. The doctor said my water may have indeed broken and then resealed if it was high and tiny. So, we were back to waiting as if nothing had ever happened. That Tuesday morning I got up and went to work, planning to leave early if I was too miserable. I was tired from the weekend events, but didn't want to sit home. By lunchtime I decided to leave early and just before I left work... "pop", gush... here we go again. This time I didn't call anybody except my husband, not expecting anything to happen... I went to lunch with my friend Ann. While at lunch I began having some mild and regular contractions. I went home and called my friend Chrissy who came over to sit with me until my husband got home, just in case. This time fluid began leaking. We decided to go for a walk to get things going. After the walk, contractions were regular and getting stronger, so I called my husband Chris, and I called Liz. Then everything started happening very fast, my husband was home about 20 minutes after I called him, and at that point the contractions were so strong that I went upstairs to stay until the birth. They were getting so strong so fast that I was having trouble coping. Liz arrived and checked me, 7cm.She suggested I try getting into the tub. I tried it, but wasnt comfortable and got out. Once I was out, I was pushing. Yes, I dilated that fast! 20 mins later, Casey was born. Thanks to Liz, not a single teaer : ) I was so thankful to have him at home! (and after only 2 hrs of truly active labor!)

Blessings! I'll be busy nursing my little boobie monster now!

I am NOT the exception

I am *not* the exception
I am the norm.My birth is normal~~unhindered~~standard~~regular~~easy~~simple.
It amazes me how when people hear about my birth experiences, they are amazed that a birth can be like that. They say things about how I must not have had contractions NEARLY like they did. They say things about how their birth was so painful that even the doctors were astonished by it. They say that I am so brave (or maybe so stupid to risk what I did).


Yes- it wasn't in a hospital. No doctor was there telling me to push when I didn't feel like it. No pelvic exams to check my dilation and progress. No emergency, no drugs, no nurses telling me to count to 10 and then blow. No c-section, no forceps, no episiotomy, no stitches. Just my husband and I along with a midwife who sat on the bed and watched. Its been 2 years since my first homebirth. It's been 2 years since I reached into the water, between my legs, and pulled the baby out and to my chest. I've loved telling my story and talking to women who are unlearned in this area. Educating a woman about her body and how it functions is a new found passion of mine. Isn't simply sad that women have truly no clue on how their body works. The brainwashing needs to stop. After learning about the history of obstetrics, it infuriates me to no end how these professionals feel the need to manage something unmanageable. Just recently Asia Carrera (who is a former porn star, true) had a UC (unasisted childbirth...no doctor, no midwife, NO ONE but her and her daughter). Her story is simply beautiful and perhaps she can enlighten the rest of the world in discovering how their own bodies can function. Of course, many will write her off because her former porn status. She is still a woman who reached deep within herself to deliver her baby into an environment that wasn't hostile and full of noise and lights. She birthed her baby on the floor in front of her fireplace! How truly romantic and peaceful!


Those of us who birth this way know that we aren't alone. We know that the homebirth idea is becoming more and more popular as women are seeing themselves as the empowered creatures that God created us to be. Yet to many, we are some strange breed of creatures. I hope that in the future, women will realize that deep within them lies a strength to birth in a new found way. That they will understand that the 'emergencies' they face in the hospital setting are often times CREATED by the hospital staff through the various interventions. Pitocin to speed things up, often cause such INTENSE contractions that epidurals become almost mandatory. Pitocin contractions don't cause the cervix to relax enough during contractions, which makes c-sections almost inevitable. Epidurals can often slow down labor and progress as well. When the female body is left to do what it knows to do, it normally functions in a way that delivers a beautiful baby with little effort and must ease.

I am *not* the exception.

By: Kelly Milano


(Feel free to repost, but please send me a link to where you put it and leave my name on it).

Do the 'impossible'

Do the 'impossible'
Walt Disney once said "It's kinda fun doing the impossible." As homebirthers so often the views that others throw at us about our choice is that it is impossible. It's impossible that you can do it without drugs. It's impossible that you can do it without assistance from anyone. It's impossible that in that moment of pulling the baby out, that you can actually have the energy and desire to do it. It's impossible that you can actually have a 100% problem free delivery. It's kind of fun to do the 'impossible'. It's fun to prove them wrong and be able to educate them all at the same time. There is NOTHING impossible when you let your body work the way it was designed to work. There is NOTHING impossible about delivering a baby. While there are always complications that COULD arise, truth is they are rare and don't make for the impossible.

Knowing that everyone viewed my choice as 'impossible' made me more excited to accept the challenge and trust my body. There is an old Spanish proverb that says "To tell a woman what she can't do is to tell her what she can do". In other words, when rules and regulations are created to try to force women to all birth the same, the rise inside of women's souls will result in them doing exactly what it is you are telling them they can't do. To tell a woman she can't homebirth is certainly a challenge to many who will purposely birth at home just to show a point that a baby will come whenever and wherever it wants, whether a doctor is present or a not. Doctors don't deliver babies. MOMS deliver babies. Doctors just assist a mom in her delivery. A midwife or a husband or best friend can assist just the same. And if no one is there, the mom will still deliver the baby, for SHE is the one does all the work. No male doctor has EVER delivered a baby! EVER. He has never had a baby pass through his open cervix and out into the world. He has never felt the sensations of needing and wanting to push or of having that new baby put to his bare breast. And a male doctor never will deliver a baby. Pizzas are delivered by outsiders. Babies are delivered by moms. Next time you are asked by a well wisher "So, who will be delivering this baby?" Proudly say with a smile "I will be". Whether you have a doctor or midwife present or go completely unassisted, take pride in the fact that YOU will deliver the baby that is growing inside of you. More than likely, your doctor will just be getting in the way! ;)




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Train vs Educate

I recently read a great quote. It said "The definitions of "train" vs. "educate"; to train is to not deviate to the left or right, but go straight ahead. To educate is to broaden one's mind on a subject. This society primarily trains - doctors, nurses, attorneys, etc".

This is our medical profession to a T! We have trained them on how to react to situations. They are trained to not do a breech delivery. They are trained to not vaginally deliver twins. They are trained to vaccinate, trained to push for epidurals, trained to do routine c-sections. But are they truly educated? Are they educated on the risk of vaccinations? Are they educated on the dangers of induction? Are they trained on the hazards of repeat and routine c-sections?

We as normal everyday patients, have been trained as well. We've been trained to accept everything our doctors tell us fact. We've been trained to not ask questions or not doubt what we are being told. We are trained, just like we would train a dog, to speak when spoken to in the doctors office and not cause a scene. We train our dogs to jump through hoops and roll over and play dead, just like we've been trained to do when it comes to our opinions and ideas about our health, our bodies or our decisions.

It's time we EDUCATE ourselves!!! It's time we stop being simply trained and start researching and finding our voice. It's time we stand up for ourselves in the delivery room, to our doctors, to the insurance companies and the government.

EDUCATE YOURSELF AND FIND YOUR VOICE!!!