Vagina, Vagina, Vagina

There! I said it! I absolutely HATE that word and don't know why. I think it has to do with my conservative, Baptist upbringing in a home where anything remotely sexual was not discussed. I don't have a problem with teaching my boys that they have a penis, but for some reason, teaching my girls that they had a vagina was so much tougher. For the first several years, we just never talked about it. I never called it ANY name and they never asked. One day about 6 months to a year ago, I hear the girls in the bathtub and I hear them talking about washing their 'flower'. I asked them what they were talking about and they pointed to their vagina and vulva. I asked them where they heard this was a 'flower' and they said it was from my mother in law while they were at her house that weekend before. She had been giving them their baths and told them to wash their arms, their tummies, their bottoms, their 'flower'. I was flabbergasted!! This is NOT a flower. Flowers grow outside in the dirt. The smell and look pretty for a bit, then they DIE. That is NOT what my girls have. They have VAGINAS! I talked to them about what a flower was and what their vagina was.

I never had this same problem teaching my sons that they had a penis however. I remember not long after Seth was born, we were in church and our pastor was preaching about marraige and family or something and I remember as clear as day him saying something about how families tend to make these things an embarrassement and encouraged all of us as parents to not say "ookie bookie wookie" instead of penis. Yes, he said 'ookie bookie wookie'. We still laugh about this usage of 'words'. It was at that day that it all made sense I decided to start calling body parts what they were. My friend went so far that when her boys would come into the bathroom when they were little and ask what she was doing, she'd say she was peeing. They said "Where's your penis?" and she responded with "Girls don't have a penis. We have a vulva."

I had been married for several years and my DH was having to teach me about my own body and how things worked because I had no clue. I had no clue about 'clitoris' or any of that and I don't want my girls not knowing. I want them to know it's safe to talk to me about these things and not something to be embarrassed of. I rememeber when I was about 16 or 17, my boyfriend and I would be making out and I'd feel all funny 'down there'. I remember sitting up on the bathroom counter looking at my swollen lips and vagina, wondering what was going on. It was intriguing to me, but there was no one I could ask about the hows or whys. I was embarrassed about it. Why? Because my parents had MADE me embarrassed about such things, imo. They taught me I had eyes, nose, mouth, arms, hands, feet, legs and 'bottom'. To me, my vagina was taboo and something to be embarrassed about. Something to keep completely secretive and never discuss. Imagine the first time I went to the OB for a PAP. I hear the doctor using words like clitoris, vagina, etc and could feel my face turning a million shades of red. I obviously knew what she was talking about, but to have it be so OPENLY talked about was not something I was used to. My husband still laughs at me as I'll refer to my vagina as my 'hoohoo' but it's not something I EVER say to my daughters. I want them to grow up without the embarrassment of their female parts. I want them to be as proud of their vagina as a man is of his penis! (And we all know that THAT is pride!!!) Men's lives seem to often revolve around their penis. LOL

Do you remember when Kindergarten Cop came out? Remember the scene where the little boy raises his hand and says "Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina." You could hear the gasps of all the moms and dads in the room. This is NOT something that was openly discussed, even in 1990. (WOW! Can you believe it's been 17 years since 1990???) This little boy knew something that so many little girls didn't. They were taught they had 'flowers' or 'bottom'. (The same is true about their breasts. We tell them they have 'buttons' instead of nipples or breasts. ) And most of the nicknames for a vagina are quite absurd or offensive. Why do we allow this? Why do we allow words like 'beaver' or 'cunt' in refering to our parts? Look at this horrible list of names!!! http://www.blap.com/joke.php?query=188

We need to make sure our daughters are being taught to be be proud of who they are, how they were created and what parts they possess.

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