Have you heard of pain free childbirth? Have you experienced it? Most women would say no, but there are those who have indeed had painless births. This is a valid experience, as is the painful birth. But it is not a mark of spirituality, just a wonderful blessing when it happens. Many fearful women hope for a pain-free birth, but they are rarely the ones who experience them. Now you may be wondering, Can it happen to you???
Pain-free labor, though not the norm, usually happens to those who are relaxed and calm and open to birth, and not fearful or controlling. Fear creates tension, which produces adrenaline, and decreases your body's natural ability to relieve pain on it's own.
Medications (epidural or intravenous, narcotic or anesthetic) all prevent the body from providing it's own pain relief in the form of endorphins. Women who are relaxed and calm are usually in control and comfortable, in spite of whatever pain they experience be it great or small. They also tend to have less pain than tense women.
Achieving this calm relaxed state during intense labor takes proper training and practice ahead of time in most cases, primarily to undo the cultural conditioning we've all received from the media about how scary and painful birth is.
One thing to remember about childbirth "pain" is that is it not at all like any other pain you normally experience. Most pain in your day-to-day life is *pathological* - something is wrong. But childbirth is not pathology - it's normal. So the sensations are not pathologically painful, but rather intense and normal.
Some pain in birth is to be expected. Your tissues and joints are being stretched to their limits, and that big bag of muscles that is your uterus is doing an incredible amount of work - something akin to mountain climbing! So some pain is to be expected. Intermittent pain, and pain you generally *can* cope with. But to further clarify, if you do experience really serious *pain* in childbirth then something probably IS wrong - baby's position isn't right, or you are tense and causing dysfunctional contractions. (And of course, everyone has different pain thresholds, but you can increase yours by learning to relax in advance.) These are things that can usually be dealt with by preparing well in advance for relaxation and proper fetal positioning, and also during labor by having a knowlegeable support person with you, and by staying unmedicated and able to walk, rock, lunge, squat, etc. as you feel the need. Without medication you can better respond to your body's signals as the baby moves into position for birth and help avoid much pain.
A few books by Chrisitan authors which might be helpful for dealing with issues of pain and fear in birth are:
The Joy of Natural Childbirth, by Helen Wessel
Under the Apple Tree - Marrying, Birthing, Parenting, by Helen Wessel
Childbirth Without Fear, by Dr. Grantly Dick-Read
The Birth Book, by Dr. William Sears (includes a section on medical pain relief, pros and cons)
I took natural childbirth classes during my first pregnancy. When people would hear that I was planning a natural birth, several asked incredulously, "Why would you give birth without drugs? I mean, you wouldn't have your wisdom teeth pulled without anesthesia, would you???" And I would think to myself, Well, of course not!! That would hurt!! And I'm not a fool...but I think I would like to give birth without drugs.
In my first pregnancy, such comments made me doubt my own sanity just enough that I never did learn to relax, and was a mess in labor - tense and scared, and had both narcotics (demerol, stadol, etc.) and the epidural. But my baby and I both had problems because of it, and the only reason he was released to go home with me was that my family doctor signed him out, saying I could "observe" him far better at home than the nurses in the hospital NICU could. (gotta love that man!! :)) My personal experience with labor drugs resulted in terrible halucinations with the demerol (with no pain relief, no "edge off") so I took the epidural. Then I had:
*dizziness, confusion and sleepiness
*low blood pressure (therefore IV fluids)
*the blood pressure cuff always on, inflating automatically every 10 minutes
*the constant annoyance of nurses (just doing their job, but driving me nuts)
*urine catheter
*constant fetal monitoring
*fever (common side effect of epidural drugs)
*no mobility - not even able to roll over on my own
*slowed labor which nearly led to cesarean
*numbness that wouldn't wear off, and I was unable to walk some 6 hours after the medication had been turned off
*unable to push effectively - 2.5 hours of pushing
*Oxygen mask during pushing (totally annoying)
*incredible postpartum pain from being in unnatural positions that I couldn't feel while I was doing it
My baby got the complete work-over when he was born. His first hours of life were horrifying to me.
*He had to be given oxygen via my bloodstream during labor because his heart rate was struggling.
*He continued to need oxygen at birth, as he was cut off quickly from the flow of oxygenated placental blood when his cord was cut abruptly to get him off to the NICU for suctioning.
*Immediately whisked away to the NICU for suctioning because there was meconium (first stool, very sticky) in the amniotic fluid (more common with epidurals than without) and the fear was that he had aspirated (inhaled) some. He had not.
*Temp was high (as mine was) so he was treated as if he had an infection - prophylactic antibiotics through a shunt in his arm, a complete septic work-up just in case.
*His breathing was funny, a little "chokey", and they kept watching him for signs of additional respiratory problems. I learned later from a midwife that it was probably a reflex caused by the tube pushed down his throat for suctioning.
*Every time I turned around, someone was poking him for another test.
*They wanted to keep him in the hospital for "observation" until his blood work came back. The only reason he was released to go home with me was that my family doctor signed him out, saying I could "observe" him far better at home than the nurses in the hospital NICU could. (gotta love that man!! :))
By the second one I was absolutely committed to natural birth, and in fact chose a home birth in order to avoid the distractions and fears that the hospital had caused for me. I still heard the wisdom teeth comment, but this time I didn't care what they said! I was going to birth my baby the way God made me to, and I didn't care what it took!! Sure enough, I had a much easier birth and much better recovery, and the baby was perfect - 10/10 apgars and a serious set of lungs!
Baby #3 was my hardest birth, but the fastest of all. We called her the "freight train baby" because she was in my arms two hours after the first contraction! At the time I remember wondering to myself, "Why am I having a home birth? If I was in the hospital I'd have drugs by now for sure!" and then before I knew it, there she was. Now in retrospect, I can see that I was in transition after about an hour and a half of rather mild labor.
My greatest downfall with that birth was assuming that I'd be in labor for several more hours, and wondering how I'd make it. If I'd *known* that the baby was coming so fast, I'd have understood why it was so intense! It's funny, I always teach my students not to look back and not to look forward, but to focus on relaxing thoroughly through the present contraction. Now I understand that wisdom on a different level. If I could have stopped "looking forward" to how much longer I might be in labor, I probably would have been much more relaxed!! :)
Back to the question at hand, about pain and fear in birth. I would be lying if I said birth could be painless for everyone. It's not true. Your body goes through incredible physical changes as the baby passes through. But this pain is not pathological. It is normal, it is physiological. And God made woman strong enough to bear it. Best of all, it changes you and empowers you. It makes you feel as if you've conquered something incredible, and you feel strong afterward. Strong in a way you've never known before. I believe it is a strength that God gave mothers. A strength to birth which carries over into mothering in a very unique way. Having done it both ways, having had both hard and easy labors, I would never again choose to be numb for this experience, as long as the choice remains my own.
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